Sick in Bed! :(

That's what I am, and that's where I should be... in bed. No, I'm not in bed this very moment, as I'm sitting in my living room at my computer, but I was in bed just before I got up to write this, and surely, to bed is where I will return.

I'm sick. Full, blown-out, flu-like symptoms, sore-throated sick!!! And it sucks. I cancelled my teaching this morning, cancelled my voice lesson and will likely have to cancel everything tomorrow too.

I guess I don't have the constitution of a teenager anymore. Last weekend I was up two nights in a row until after 5:00 am. Then I got drunk Monday, drunk Wednesday (and was up 24 hrs with no sleep Wednesday-Thursday), had emotional trauma with Narc Wednesday night, and got only four hours of sleep Thursday night before lecturing for six hours, so... what do I expect?

In any case, I tried to take it easy this weekend. On Friday night, after teaching I came straight home and went to bed early. Interestingly, I got a text from BarMan that night--

Anyone wanna play poker sun site? Fun, no sharks :)

It's the first time BarMan has invited me to something outside of "getting a drink after Cheers closes" or going to see him play one of his shows. So, it was really nice! I really like the crew at Cheers and if I ever get my act together to lay off the drinking, I'm going to miss them all! It would be nice to know them outside of that setting... (I wrote back that I was up for it, but he couldn't get a big enough group together and is going to try again for next week.)

On Saturday the weather was beautiful and I went to Central Park with Hammer. Earlier that morning, I had a text from Narc:

Ugh, dying...! Do me in now.

And then at around 1:30, another text:

Dude!! Possible to borrow a little cash from you to get through the early evening? Expecting a money transfer, can get you back later tonight.

Okay... so aside from the fact that Narc called me "dude" (which is a STRANGE term for a girl you're having sex with), and aside from the fact that he was asking me for money, his message implied that he wanted to see me later. So I called him.

He said that he was waiting for his mom to transfer more money into his account, but that he was stuck with maxxed out credit cards and an account on empty. I asked him how much he needed.

"I don't know... I have to go to this birthday party/scavenger hunt/pub crawl thing in the East Village. So... A hundred dollars or so to play with for the night?"

"Fine."

I told him I would leave it with my doorman as I was late to meet Hammer at the park and certainly wasn't going to run to Tribeca to bring him money.

Hammer and I brought sandwiches and she brought a "blanket-ino" (which you left at my house, Hammer!) and we hung out and talked-- Hammer with her Sudoku puzzles in tow.

After the park (and some amusing people-watching) we walked down Columbus Avenue and eventually moved over to Amsterdam for ice-cream sodas at a diner. "Uh oh" for Hyde, though... I started to sugar crash. I know I always feel shitty after that stuff, so I don't know why I continue to do it. (Then again, that question can be applied to many areas of my life, n'est pas?) We cabbed back to my apartment and hung out for a while, just having DT and watching Dr. Phil. I saw that Narc had never come by to pick up the money. I guess he managed to borrow from one of his friends at that party instead.

NDN stopped by at around 9:00 or so and wanted to go to Pizzeria Uno's in the West Village where he had made all those friends at the bar the week before. Neither Hammer nor I was really up for it at first (I felt a little sick; Hammer had her 4-mile run the next day), but he managed to convince us (me, by "cuddling me into submission." Ha ha.)

I won't recount the details of our evening, because Hammer and NDN got into a little spat, and there's no use in dwelling on unfortunate moments like that. But on the cab ride down there, I realized I had forgotten my cell phone! I started to panic. I knew that Narc was going to call me after that birthday party was over, which he expected to end at around midnight. I was in total panic mode. Hammer suggested that I call Narc from her phone and tell him I had forgotten my phone. Once I had done so, I felt a little better.

At the bar, NDN worked on "winning over" a grumpy bartender. But, like I said-- the evening ended with Hammer and NDN in a fight. Hammer left, only to race back into the bar a few minutes later with her phone. Narc was on the line! (She said that he was strange on the phone-- saying something very stiff, like "May I please speak with Hyde." Right, Hammer?) Narc said that he wasn't feeling well, but that I was welcome to come to his place if I wanted to. So I did. NDN put me in a cab and I was on my way.

Narc was really looking pretty run down. He told me he had been awake for 36 hours.

"Why!?!?" I asked.

"Well, I was out with M and R until 4:00 in the morning last night, and for some reason, I couldn't fall asleep after that," he said.

I made us both a vodka and cranberry but he barely touched his.

"I'm feeling kind of shitty, myself," I said.

We didn't stay up for too long before hitting the sheets.

When I opened my eyes the next morning, I knew I was sick. My throat felt thick and fuzzy and I couldn't swallow; my eyes were stuck together, I was sweating and had a chill. I had agreed to meet NDN for dim sum in Chinatown, but didn't feel up to it, so I called him to cancel. Narc said he felt sick too, but I could tell from looking-- he wasn't half as bad as I. We settled on his living room couch, me shivering underneath his big blanket, sweating with my hair matted to my face. It was not fun. Especially, as I knew I had to leave, and facing the cold air outdoors seemed truly formidable.

Narc is not a particularly good "caretaker." I can't blame him. He was totally neglected in that department when he was young, and so he never learned how. But he didn't really offer to do anything for me-- tylenol or tea or anything. In fact, I felt guilty being a "downer," and I felt that he was worried that I might make him sicker. The only reason I stayed on over there until 7:00 was the awful internal chill that I felt.

Finally I got myself up and out the door. It was strange. He didn't walk me to the door and I didn't kiss him goodbye. I felt like such shit, though, that I didn't care. I felt like I was in a daze stumbling towards Church Street looking for a cab.

I had given NDN the keys to my apartment for him to retrieve my cell phone, so on my way back in, I stopped at his place. He had his mother over for dinner, and I felt very rude not wanting to stop in and say hello, but I really felt like hell. Back at home, I crawled into bed immediately. I spoke to Hammer on the phone for a while, and also to B. Damn! Was it good to have my cell phone back! I can't believe how much anxiety I felt, just from not being constantly available to people!

NDN had told me to let him know if I needed anything. He was planning to walk his mom out at around 9:00, so I asked if he could pick me up some wonton soup and some water. He graciously complied.

Then I started to feel nervous. I hadn't had sex with Narc Saturday night or Sunday morning. What if something was wrong? What if it means something greater? I knew I was being foolish. Both Narc and I were sick (me a lot more so) and I didn't want to have sex when I was there, but still... So I sent him a text:

Watching "Conan goes to Finland." (Gong!)

N: Saw that one, good stuff. New tonight: Simpsons, , Family Guy, West Wing and Sopranos. Most impressive!

H: Good night to be home laying in bed then. Sorry I was such a drag today. You could tell my defenses were down-- Armageddon moved me to tears! :)

N: Reading Script and drinking german beer at Blue Goose. Woohoo! Should have taken you here earlier. We could both have done our reading, etc.

H: Sounds sweet. Maybe later this week... As for now, I'm in bed with wonton soup and a plan for 12 hours of sleep. Perfect... ZZZzzzzz.... :)

In the meanwhile, Hammer was having an adventure of her own. She randomly bumped into one of the guys we had met last Saturday night at the piano bar. (You should go check out her blog for the whole story).

And that was that. Before long, I fell asleep.

Today I'm going to try to nurse myself back to health. I'm about to jump in the shower and then I'm going to call my doctor. Other than that, it's going to be be a day to stay in bed.

love,

-h-

PS:

MINI DREAM-O-METER:

I had a dream last night that my little sister's childhood friend had found my blog and sent my little sister an email saying how one of my dreams posted on the blog didn't make any sense. My little sister told me about it.

"What? Jenny reads my blog?" I asked.

"Yeah... I think I might start reading it too..."

"How did she find it?"

"She just googled a bunch of your 'code names.' It's not all that hard."

When I woke up, I had the urge to totally redo the whole blog-- to change everyone's name (except for mine of course) and to change the template. I don't know if I will... But that was my dream...

-h-