"I may be bad, but I feel good"

Time for a recap of the weekend!

St. Patty's day was not to be a day of drinking festivity for me this year! I was wiped out after Thursday's dating marathon and Friday's teaching marathon and my really long blog-entry-writing marathon that took place on Friday evening. So on Friday I went to bed early, hoping for a much needed recovery. Before I did, I called Narc and left him a message to say hi and to see what he was up to. He didn't answer, nor did I hear from him later that night or the next morning. For once I didn't have to set the alarm and woke up blissfully rested on Saturday afternoon. I spent the next few hours taking a brief walk to get some lunch and lazing around the house until it was time to meet NDN for the opera at 4:15.

NDN's alumni association organized an event that I just couldn't pass up-- a backstage tour of City Opera, Second ring tickets to Boheme and dinner inside the opera house all for the low price of $55! It was very nice of him to ask me to go.

NDN arrived chez moi high on marijuana. I gave him a shot of whiskey and a cherry coke chaser, we talked for a few minutes and we were off! NDN had a funny story about the guy working for the alumni association and organizing the event. He had met him in a different university office when he was an undergrad, and this guy had once asked NDN if he wanted "company." So we spent the cab ride brainstorming on how to make the alumni organizer feel "awkward" in return.

We got there a little early, and as I had brought my camera, we took some "sexy" pictures by the fountain. I danced a little shuffle (when NDN demanded "entertain me, Hyde!") and I encouraged him to unbutton his shirt (so I could revel in his chest hair, of course!)

The next order of business-- to scan the crowd for potential girls for NDN. I noticed one that seemed to conform to his taste. She was there with her mom, so NDN approached her. We chatted with them for a few minutes, but there were no sparks flying. Then the tour of the opera house started. The coolest part for me was the costume shop. We also got to go into the theater while the crew was working the lighting and putting together the sets.

On to dinner at the City Opera Restaurant, which is really a beautiful and elegant space! We were seated at a long table with other alumni, but we were near older/boring people, so NDN and I mostly kept to ourselves. We were each given one dinner roll by our plates. NDN ate his and asked for another (as did I). Then NDN asked for another and another! He was one hungry boy. He also ate my chicken leg. After dinner, everyone was given a slice of cake. The couple across from us only asked for one piece.

"I'll take their extra piece!" NDN eagerly exclaimed.

I was quite embarrassed by this move.

"Do they feed you at home?" The man across the table from us remarked.

It was a rich chocolate mousse cake. NDN couldn't finish the second piece.

Meanwhile, during dinner, I asked NDN if he were still in touch with his ex-girlfriend # 1 from several years ago. He told me that the last time he heard from her was an email saying "Do not contact me again!" that was viewed and then erased by his ex-girlfriend #2.

"Wait-- so she erased it before you saw it? How do you know she's not lying about it and that the email didn't really say something nice?"

Once I put that thought into his head, he couldn't stop obsessing about it. Oops! Poor NDN! While NDN was obsessing about that, I was trying not to think too much about the fact that Narc never called me back.

As for the opera itself, it was a sweet and well sung production. I thought the singers who played Mimi and Marcello were particularly strong-- the Mimi exceptionally so. She's a young singer, but I'm sure her star is rising. In Act I, I started crying during O Soave Fanciulla. (I am so sentimental, it's not even funny!)

Leaving the opera, NDN tried to position us for our best chance at getting a cab, when my phone rang. It was Narc. He said that he had been at a Stereolab concert at Town Hall with his friend, SexAsLoveChick.

"Oh really? Well, NDN and I are just getting out of the opera!"

We talked for a few minutes. He said that he was wandering around midtown and bored. I told him he should join us at NV's birthday party. NDN and I were on our way to Chelsea at that very moment-- to a bar called the View.

"I don't know if I'm up for much partying," he said. "I'm feeling a chill night."

"Well you could always stop by for a drink and then just go," I said.

"I don't know..."

"C'mon, Narc! Just come!"

"Well... okay."

I gave him the address of the place and NDN and I headed there on our own. NDN was still hungry and wanted to go to an ice cream store. Once out of the cab, he thought he caught the whiff of some good pizza without a pizza place in sight. As such, we continued on to the party without further gluttony.

There weren't many people there when we arrived, but we made our way to the back room, greeted the birthday boy, got drinks and started to settle in.

At one point, I was bent down, putting my coat and bag in the corner when I came up to see a guy standing in front of me.

"Do you think you're sexy?" he asked.

"Of course!" I replied with a laugh.

"That is absolutely the right answer!" he said. "I knew it! I knew you'd say that. You said it right! I think you're sexy too."

"Well, thanks."

To be honest with you guys, I thought this guy was gay. His mannerisms seemed gay and we were at the party of a gay friend in a gay bar in a gay neighborhood! But he continued to hit on me in an overtly aggressive manner. He started to stroke my arms and moved in so that his face was just an inch from mine.

"You are so sexy!" he said. "And I love it that you know it."

I don't remember my reply, but I'm sure I didn't quite know what to say.

"Forgive me if I seem a little strange," he said. "My name's Merlin. And I'm just a little high right now."

So THAT explains it! I felt relieved. Better to be talking to someone high than someone crazy, right?

"That's okay!" I laughed. "What are you high on?"

"Coke."

"Well, that's the best answer!" I smiled at him again.

"Want some?"

"Um, sure, I guess."

He took me by the hand and led me over to a sofa, still in the back room of the bar, so we hadn't left the rest of the party.

"Give me your hand," he said.

I complied. He ran his fingers over the back-side of my hand. Suddenly a little bag materialized and he was drawing a bump right there on my hand.

"Right here???" I asked, incredulously.

"Yeah, just do it."

I lifted my hand to my nose and snorted it up. But I felt wary. It's my policy not to do shit like that out in the open. I got in trouble for drugs once, and I don't want it to happen again. I had thought he was going to pass me the bag to go do it in the bathroom or something.

"Here. Have another."

I put out my hand. He did a bump too. Then he put his hands on my leg and tried to kiss me. He got me lightly on the lips before I managed to move my head away.

"I should tell you," I said. "I'm here with someone."

"What?"

"Yes. I'm here with someone, so... sorry?"

I needed to get this guy to back off. I was going to say that NDN was my boyfriend.

"Do you think I'm straight or gay or swing both ways?" he asked, a smirk on his face. "Because just because I'm in a gay bar doesn't necessarily mean that I'm gay!"

"It's none of my business either way," I said. "What you are is what you are, and it doesn't make a difference to me!"

"That's absolutely the right answer. I love you!" he half-squealed. "So... Who is he? A boyfriend? A lover? Who?"

It's then that I remembered that Narc was on his way. I didn't want to have to be pretending NDN was my boyfriend the whole night with Narc there, so I decided to say I was with Narc. But I couldn't tell this guy that Narc was my boyfriend, because what if he said as much to Narc? That would be humiliating and make me seem rather pathetic for lying.

"Um... my lover, I guess you could say."

He raised an eyebrow at me.

"Well, I want it to be more. I really care for him. He just doesn't want a relationship."

As if on cue, Narc entered.

"Oh... here he is now."

I was grateful to be relieved of entertaining this strange guy.

"Narc, this is Merlin. Merlin, this is Narc."

Merlin wanted to direct the show. He showed Narc where to sit down. We were three in a little circle. I felt awkward that I didn't even get to greet Narc privately or explain who this weird guy was. Surely, Narc thought this was friend of mine.

"Would you like a bump?" he asked Narc.

Narc was a little surprised. God, I wish I had time to explain!

"Oh, um... no thanks. I'm just going to be chill tonight."

He seemed awkward, uncomfortable and depressed.

"Are you sure? No, really! Give me your hand. Here take some!"

He tapped a little powder onto the back of Narc's hand. I gave him mine for some more as well. And we both snorted it up.

Then, Merlin touched Narc's stomach with a little caress. Narc shifted uncomfortably but didn't say anything. Ugh! I would kill him if he touched my stomach like that. Yuck.

"You do know what a lucky man you are, right? What a sexy girl this is, right?"

"Oh, um... yeah, I guess." Narc laughed awkwardly and averted his eyes.

Merlin asked Narc about a scar he has on his forehead.

"You knew I was going to ask about that right! Was it from a surgery?"

"Car accident when I was 18," Narc answered. "I broke my neck."

I wanted Merlin to leave Narc alone! Ugh! Narc doesn't like people to intrude on him like that. So I tried to change the subject.

"So, Merlin-- you said you were an actor, right? What kind of stuff have you done?"

I figured Narc would be into that topic.

"Mostly commercials," he said. "Tons and tons of commercials."

"Like what?"

"Honey-- I told you! I've done tons!"

"Oh, okay."

"I like this guy!" he exclaimed, turning from Narc to me. "From what you said, I didn't think I would!"

Oh god! I was going to die of embarrassment.

I put my hand on Narc's knee, as if to say-- Please forgive me for this strange guy and whatever he's saying. But that seemed to make it worse. Because Merlin noticed the move.

"Do you know how much she cares about you?" he asked Narc. "Do you know how this girl feels for you?"

"Um, yeah...Sure... I guess." Again, Narc awkwardly laughed, his eyes nervously darting away.

"Are you going to bring her home tonight and make love to her?"

"Oh, um...maybe," he said.

That was too much for me. I tried to make light of it.

"Merlin! You're embarrassing me!" I laughed. "Now if you guys will excuse me, I've got to go find the bathroom."

I was hesitant to leave Narc there with this guy, but I had to find NDN and update him. I grabbed him by the hand and pulled him into a stairwell leading down into the men's room. I breathlessly filled him in on as much as possible.

"Oh, I've got to meet this guy!" he said.

I went to the restroom, picked up another round of drinks for me and Narc and went back to the little group. This time, NDN was there, and so I introduced him. Merlin asked NDN if he wanted a bump.

"No, he doesn't want any!" I said, putting my arm around him.

"He can answer for himself!" Merlin said.

"Yeah! I can take care of myself," NDN agreed.

"I'm just mothering you, that's all," I laughed. "You're like my little brother."

In the meanwhile, Narc was looking a little cranky and said that he was thinking of heading out.

"Come here. I want to talk to you," I said.

I took Narc by the hand and led him to a side table.

"I'm sorry about that guy," I said. "I just really wanted you to know that he came up to me randomly. He's not my friend and I can't account for the things he was saying."

"Yeah, that's okay. I figured. Everyone loves the guy with the coke." Narc was monotone and tired. And too sober.

"The coke was speedy, right?" I asked. "At least I thought so."

"Yeah, it was, but I'm still tired. And I didn't want another bump. I think I'm going to just take off, Hyde."

"You're leaving!?! What? No!"

"Yeah... this isn't really my scene tonight. I may hit the Patriot for one or two, but..."

"You're going out? I'd go with you, but I can't leave here this early. I mean, it's my friend's birthday. Are you going to be out late? Maybe I can meet you there when I leave here?"

"Um, I'm not sure," he said half-heartedly. "I mean, if I go home, I may just stay home, you know?"

"Can't you wait just a little longer and then I'll go with you?"

"I don't know, Hyde..."

"I'll buy you your next drink. C'mon... Just a little while?"

"Well, okay."

At that point, Merlin had disappeared. So I bought Narc a drink. While we were sipping, I got a text from Hammer. She was at her future sister-in-law's bachelorette party in D.C. She wanted to hook up with Timesy (who lives in D.C.) even though she had discarded his number.

I'll give you ten bucks if you can find timesy's phone number, she wrote.

I called her and we spoke for a few minutes. I had no way of finding Timesy. Poor Hammer was out of luck! Then I was back to the party. NDN, Narc and I talked to a few of NV's friends for a while who wanted to see my tattoos. I told NDN to unbutton his shirt again, but the boys told him that he looked too "Jersey" like that and that he should button back up. A pair of NV's friends joined the party then-- a girl and a guy and NV pulled me aside to tell me that both of them liked NDN and they wanted to know which way he swung. At this point, it was probably around 12:30 or so.

NDN noticed that they advertised "Drag Queen Puppet Bingo" on Friday nights. If you remember, I met that guy, Jazz, on Thursday night at Cheers who told me about a Transvestite Bingo game. I figured it had to be the same place. Strange coincidence, right?

After a while, Narc was pressing me to leave. I was getting a little drunk. I wanted to find Merlin and get another hit before taking off. I spotted him across the room, talking to some other girl. I went to sit down over there.

"I'm going. I just wanted to know if I could get one more," I said.

He seemed distracted.

"Yeah, yeah... Five bucks, though."

"What??? Five bucks for a bump! I don't think so. No thanks."

"I'll give you the bag for $20. I've got 9 bags on me to party with tonight!"

"I'm not paying $20 when the bag's been used."

"Fine. Just give me $10 then."

"Perfect." (That was a sweet deal for me.)

I asked him for his number in case I wanted to "party" later, and with the bag in my bra, Narc and I were off.

On the cab ride down, I called Jazz. He picked up, and I was suddenly aware of how drunk I sounded.

"Jazz! It's Hyde-- from Cheers the other night! I just wanted to tell you-- I found the Transvestite Bingo. It's at the View, right?"

"Right!"

Then the call turned to static, so I said goodbye and that was it.

Narc and I headed into the Patriot, but it was really too crowded. We were not up for that kind of crowd. We just wanted to sit and drink and talk. (A sign of age, perhaps? I can't tolerate clubbing anymore either). He had an idea for another neighborhood bar. On the way there, we stopped to look at movie posters in a window. The second-attempt bar was closed.

"We could try Biddy Early's... It's just another neighborhood pub," he explained.

I agreed.

When we got there, we decided to stay. It was much more mellow. There was only one bar stool available and Narc let me sit. He went outside to smoke a cigarette. I tapped the patrons blocking my bar-spot on the shoulder.

"Don't mean to bother you guys, but is it okay if I squeeze in here to get a drink?"

"Of course!" they replied.

That sparked a conversation. The woman was in town visiting the man. They had gone to college together in the '80s-- Texas A&M. She still lives in Texas. I talked to them for a while, and when Narc came back, he joined in. I periodically went to the bathroom and did the coke until it was all gone, and I was one drunk and coked-up-Hyde.

Then Narc ran out of cigarettes. I was feeling loving, and so I offered to walk to the deli to buy them. I was a little nervous, though, given my condition.

"If I'm not back in 20 minutes, call 911," I said.

Part of me was surprised Narc let me go. but he was really drunk too. I made it back okay. After a while, that couple left and we started talking to another man, seated to my left. He and Narc got in a big argument about James Joyce. I told Narc that I once started to write a "song cycle" based on Dubliners. He scoffed at me, as he doesn't consider Dubliners hard core Joyce. I haven't read that much Joyce, so I largely stayed out of the conversation which was getting pretty heated-- mostly because this guy hadn't read much Joyce either and Narc was in drunk-arguing mode. Then Narc wanted some of the coke. It was 4:00 am and we were both pretty wasted. I told him that there was none left.

The guy next to us wanted some too, so I told him that I would give him Merlin's number.

"I'm from out of town," he said. "I just can't call up some guy! You have to call for me!"

"Well, okay..."

So I called Merlin and left a message. Half an hour later, after last call, I sent him a text that said "Hi." Then I tried again. This time a woman picked up.

"Um... hi. Is Merlin there?"

"He's in the bathroom right now. Can I help you?"

"Um, yeah-- just tell him that Hyde called, okay?"

"Yeah sure."

This was turning into a strange night.

On the way home, I started telling Narc about a new vibrator that I ordered. He told me about the Sex in the City episode when Charlotte gets addicted to her vibrator.

"We have to watch it tonight, Hyde!"

"Okay!"

So back at his place, he got out the DVD's and put it on. He wanted to drink some more. (Neither Narc nor I ever knows when to call it quits! It's always more, MORE MORE!!!) I popped open a bottle of champagne, even though while doing so I was sure I was on the verge of passing out. Somehow the two of us finished the bottle, even though I didn't make it to the end of the Sex in the City episode.

But before I passed out, Narc again brought up TT. (Don't you just love what alcohol will do!) He asked about my Thursday dates.

"It was with lasagna-boy, right?"

"Well, the second one was. The first was with my friend S."

"You mean the Stallion? That's his blog name, right? 'STALLION'? I still can't believe he's called 'STALLION' when I'm called 'NARC!'"

"Oh, come on, Narc... Whatever..." I rolled my eyes and tried to give no response, but to just drop it. Our drunk fights have been known to turn ugly and we were in no state to be getting into a fight.

The next thing I knew, it was 9:00 am and I was on Narc's couch. I assumed I had passed out. So I got up and stumbled into his bedroom and collapsed into bed with him.

The next thing I knew after that, I was alone in his bed. It was around 2:00 pm and I could hear him out in the living room on the phone. I tried to listen, but I couldn't figure out who he was talking to. After about 20 minutes, I got up and went into the kitchen to get a glass of water. Then I climbed back into bed. Narc got off the phone and soon followed. He said he had been on the phone with his ex-girlfriend, ModelChick, and that she was depressed. He invited her over to watch the Sopranos later.

We had a good time fucking all afternoon (until 4:00 or 5:00 or so). Strangely, I had two missed calls from none other than Merlin! He sounded high in the message he left.

"Yeah! Call me!" he said. "I've got plenty of stuff to paaaarrrrrrty!!!"

Then Narc announced "FOOD!" (as he is prone to do). We ordered in cheap Mexican and I went across the street to get us gateorade and red bull. I didn't even bother to freshen up. My hair was a mess, my eyes were circled with mascara rings and bleary and my was nose sore and stuffy. I looked such a wreck that I'm sure his doormen must be laughing at us.

Back at his place we watched Army of Darkness. (Narc is intent on my movie education in terms of movies he likes). It wasn't quite my thing. Then we watched Dangerous Liasons, which happened to be on TV. I love that movie and think it's very sexy. Then we had some more sex, during which the phone rang. When Narc checked the message, it was ModelChick saying she was on her way over. So, I just gathered my stuff together and got out of there ASAP.

Last night, the poker game I thought I was headed to ended up cancelled. NDN got me an "S&M Safe Play" book at the gay bar, which I read last night and enjoyed, mostly for the funny illustrations and instructions like "If you call an ambulence, the police will likely arrive as well. So clean up anything you don't want the police to find." I'll have to find a way to show you guys the pics. Then I cooked some fedelini and IM'd with TT for a while until I was able to resolve that he was not reading my blog. Today I got up early to teach. I had a text message from Narc sent at 1:45 am:

"Sopranos" was amazing! If you like, come wake me up after you're done tomorrow and we'll lunch!

In the meantime, as I sit here and type this, I got another text. This one from Merlin! I guess it was in response to my "Hi" text from Saturday night.

He wrote: Who dis? But hello

(I hate that kind of bad texting grammar... pet peeve.)

H: Sorry. I wrote that while drunk. I met you at the View on Sat...

M: Who you! Help me

H: Hyde. Didn't mean to be so mysterious

M: Hi! Me partying as we speak... Hmm, jules?

I didn't write back to that one, and I didn't know what he meant by "jules."

M: Hello?

H: Yeah, sorry. At work... Glad you're having fun...

Anyway... that brings us to now. I've got to edit this thing quick and then go down and see N.

Talk to you all soon!

love,
hyde