I Walk the Line

I want to take a sec to wish a HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO DAN!

Anyway, I just saw Walk the Line. Fucking awesome! (Although, I'm too biased to judge the film on its merits alone). I am a big Johnny Cash fan, and as I sit here and type, I'm listening to his "murder" compilation. (Delia's Gone, Cocaine Blues, etc.)

What else can I say about it? Fucking awesome!

(And Joaquin Phoenix is super hot! Super Hot!)

B and I went to the 4:20 show. I miss going to the movies with him. When we lived together, we were only a few blocks from one the biggest theaters in the city and we used to go all the time.

I've had a strange day today. Well, a strange night last night too. I was in an off-beat mood after that awkward text exchange with Narc. I decided to head to Cheers at around 11:00. NDN came with me. (Incidentaly, when I rang his bell, he answered the door, syringe in hand. He's so weird! He asked our other neighbor who has access to medical supplies for a syringe so he could shoot his Thanksgiving turkey up with some alcohol to "relax" it. He gave me a syringe as a gift. Mind you, I've never done anything requiring a needle and I never will. But it's NDN's idea of funny...)

Anyway, we stood outside Cheers in the bitter cold air as I finished my cigarette. I peered through the window. Guess who was up doing karaoke? KHill! The last time I saw him was Halloween weekend when he told me I looked good in my costume and asked me to feel his erection (which I did... you can read about that here.) In any case, I have a little crush on him, but was embarrassed at our last point of contact. We went in the bar and I said hi. Candy was there as well--the girl who ended up naked in my apartment. (You can read about that here.) NDN took a seat near Candy and I went up to the bar to get us drinks. KHill's friend Dave came up to introduce himself to me. PumpedUp was standing nearby and Dave decided to try to impress me.

"Hey, Hyde-- do you know PumpedUp? He's a friend of mine. Do you know he owns this place?"

PumpedUp started cracking up.

"Oh, really? Nice to meet you!" I extended my hand to PumpedUp.

"Yeah, I've never seen this girl before!" he laughed.

Dave suddenly announced that he wanted to kiss me. (Yes, he was pretty drunk, and yes--it was a non-sequitur).

"Can I kiss you Hyde? How 'bout letting me get a kiss?"

I offered him my cheek. He reached over and put his hand on the back of my head, pulling my face towards him and going in for a kiss on the mouth. I pulled back.

"Hey! Leave her alone!" PumpedUp laughed again.

"Yeah, really! I mean, I just got here. Let me toss a few back before we start making out!"

"I'm taking you home tonight," Dave said. "You're leaving with me."

"Oh, alright, whatever..."

(I can't help but think that I'm getting some kind of a "reputation," although I don't deserve it. But KHill is the guy who told me he's sure I would let him "cum inside me" because his girlfriend won't let him. I wrote about that here.)

I scooped up the drinks and worked my way back to the table where NDN was waiting.

"Hey, Hyde!" KHill exclaimed as I moved past him, "Where you going? Aren't you going to hang out? Come back, Hyde!"

I deposited the drinks and went to say hi to him.

"So? What have you been up to?" I smiled.

"I don't know, Hyde-- trying to be good, I guess. Trying to behave. But it's so hard. That's why you haven't seen me in here. I was good for a week and a half. Got through last weekend."

(I thought of what IrishBird told me about him-- "He's a dog, Hyde!" she said. "He can't stay faithful!")

"Wow! One whole weekend?" I winked at him.

"It's just hard, you know?"

"Yeah, I know... I like to misbehave too," I smiled.

Just then, Dave came up to us again.

"Oh, have you met my friend Dave?"

"Yeah, he tried to make out with me a few minutes ago."

"That's right! Come on, Hyde, let me kiss you!" Dave piped in.

Again, I offered my cheek. He gave me a gross sloppy kiss on the cheek.

"Hey! Watch it!" KHill pulled his friend back.

"Alright, guys. I'm here with my friend, so..."

I excused myself and rejoined NDN. The boys left the bar shortly after. I'd say it was about time for them to go home!

NDN and I had a great time, but I drank way too much. We ended up talking to a group of girls who had recently graduated college, and NDN got one of their numbers. I ordered shots for me and NDN but he didn't want to do his, so I did both. NDN ordered a Long Island Iced Tea, which got me thinking, so I started drinking them too. (I haven't had Long Islands in a while, but I lost my second-virginity on a night of Long Island Iced Teas once upon a time...)

NDN took off at around 12:30 (I think) and I stayed and chatted with our new friends. I took one of their email addresses and sent her an invite to my upcoming birthday party. I don't remember the end of the night, but upon waking up this morning, I found that I had called Narc once (at around 2:30 am) and drunk-texted him "Are you still up?" DAMN IT!

This morning, I found myself half naked on my living room couch, blessed with a pounding headache. I looked at my watch. Shit! I had 10 minutes to get myself dressed and out of the house for a doctor's appointment. There's nothing like visiting the doctor drunk, but whatever... I think it went undetected. After that I had to head to speech therapy. She did another probe, sticking a long metal pipe down my throat with a camera attached to the end. (More practice trying to suppress that annoying gag-reflex!) She then had me produce a whole variety of sounds, recording the images onto a DVD. It was pretty cool to see afterwards. The good news? My cords are nice and healthy! There was a little phlegm in one area, and I still have a "posterior glottal chink," (in other words, my folds don't come completely together in the back), but overall, there's huge improvement from this summer.

After I left, I ate some Korean food for lunch and chatted with B on the phone. We had a pretty intense discussion about religion, love and justice. Then I headed to a voice lesson. I was feeling kind of crappy, as I had such a poor start to the day. My hair was unbrushed and quickly pulled back into a ponytail, and I was in an oversized sweatshirt, sneakers and jeans. My eyes were rimmed in pink and purple and were stinging, bloodshot through and through. Leaving my voice lesson, my teacher walked me to the door.

"Stay cool," he said.

What the fuck was that supposed to mean? Sometimes I think I'm just losing my mind...

Anyway, I got in the elevator on the twelfth floor. (This was at about 3:45 pm). On the seventh floor, I was joined by a man (who looked to be around my age) with a big ring of keys. He looked like he worked in the building or something, although I had never seen him before.

"How are you?" he asked.

"Fine," I smiled. "And yourself?"

"I'm doing well. So... Any exciting plans for the weekend?"

I was caught off guard by his question. This was well beyond normal elevator-etiquette.

"Um, work, I guess."

"Work? What about the parties?"

I laughed. "Oh, yeah... Well, parties too, of course!"

"I bet you have a lot of boyfriends," he said. "How many boyfriends do you have?"

Now I was embarrassed. I'm sure I blushed.

"Oh, not that many," I answered.

"Well, how 'bout making me one of those friends?" he asked.

"Oh, um... yeah..." I looked at my watch and then up at the elevator lights marking our descent towards the lobby.

"You look like a fun girl. A party girl, I mean. In fact, I know it! You ARE a girl who knows how to party. Tell me I'm right. Am I right?"

"Why? Because I look like I have a hangover?"

He laughed.

"Well, yeah. So, why don't you let me give you a call this weekend? I promise I'll show you a good time..."

"Well, okay..." (Damn it, Hyde! Why did you say that?)

The elevator doors opened and the two of us exited. He held the door open for me onto the street, his cell phone in hand.

"So, what's your number?"

I gave it to him.

"H-Y-D-E." He entered me into his phone.

"So what's your drink, Hyde?"

"Jack Daniels."

He raised an eyebrow. "Hard stuff? Alright, sweetheart. I'll make sure I'm well stocked."

"Um, okay... Take care."

I scurried to get a taxi to meet B at the movies.

What the fuck is wrong with you, Hyde? I thought. You're not interested in this guy, yet within two minutes you gave him your phone number? Moronic.

I didn't see any yellow cabs around (they're very hard to get at the 4:00 hour. A lot of cabs go off duty then, as the shifts are changed). So when a gypsy cab approached, I got in. The driver was very chatty with me. I told him I was on my way to meet B at the movies.

"Friend or boyfriend?" he asked.

And then when he dropped me off, he waved goodbye.

"Alright, Babe. Have a good time, sweetie."

Babe? Sweetie? And I looked like shit today too. What the fuck was going on?

Whatever...

Like I said, B and I had a great time at the movies, although I stuffed myself with popcorn. We sat there through the credits, and B gave me the best hug in the world and kissed my eyelids. Afterwards, we exited into the biting winter air. Last night and tonight, it's finally starting to feel like winter! The air is dry and searing, and I absolutely love it! It's punishing weather, and when the cold bites my cheeks and freezes my thighs, I feel more alive. I waited for the bus with B and saw him off, before pulling my hood over my head, lighting a cigarette and heading towards Lexington. I had dinner plans with my friend Jake. I hummed "Folsom Prison Blues," my hands thrust in my pockets, the cigarette dangling from my lips. I tried to feel "dangerous."

Jake and I ended up eating at the Jackson Hole. I could hardly manage half of my burger, though, after all that popcorn. I hadn't seen Jake since mid-August. It was good to catch up with him. He just passed the Bar exam, but was out of work. I always feel a little "crazy" when I hang out with Jake. He doesn't talk very much, and I don't see him very often, so when we meet, I find that I do all the talking. He likes to hear about my adventures, and while my life makes "sense" to me as I live it day to day, trying to update someone, all at once, on its twists and turns makes me feel crazy!

Anyway, I don't think I have the energy for a wild night tonight. My mom and I are going to see The Marriage of Figaro tomorrow afternoon, so I can't show up looking all destroyed. NDN just called me and invited me out for drinks with him and a friend. I really should go to bed though. For now, I'll just hang out and listen to Johnny Cash. Oh, and maybe finally brush my hair...

Oh, and PS: My post is up at SwissToni's Place! Go check it out!