Awkward Talk

Okay, first of all, I just got off the phone with Hammer. I just have to say it-- she and the Wizard are both fucking crazy! (Although, I can't help but find it endearing). I know that I must endlessly frustrate my friends as they watch my life relationship-wise, so it's an interesting perspective for me to watch Hammer and the Wizard doing their own dance of "eternal recurrence."

Anyway, on to my post:

An example of a very awkward text exchange, typical of Hyde and Narc:

Hyde: Leaving class. What are you up to tonight? (9:18 pm)

Narc: Watching movies, staying in. You? (9:20 pm)

Hyde: Not sure. Might go out for a drink or two, but won't make it a late night out. Don't want to fuck w/ my sleep schedule. What are you watching? (9:32 pm)

Narc: "5x2" then "Yes." Probably sleep soon after. (9:34 pm)

Hyde: Don't know either of those. But do you feel like hanging out later or not? What time is "soon after?" (9:37 pm)

Narc: Not tonight. But have fun at Cheers! (9:39 pm)

Hyde: Will do. Actually may meet some friends downtown. (Refreshing change!) Going to see "Walk the Line" tomorrow. Can't wait! Enjoy your movie night. :) (9:45 pm)

See what I mean? Neither of us wants to say anything straight up. Neither of us said what we mean, although both of us understood the subtext, I'm sure...

Here's the conversation in translation:

Hyde: Narc, I'm leaving class and I'd like to see you.

Narc: I'd like to see you too, (that's why I'm bothering to text you back right away), but only if you want to come down here and watch movies with me. I'm depressed and don't have the energy to go out tonight.

Hyde: Wait-- so is that an invitation or not? Since you didn't invite me outright, I dont 'want to impose. And I don't want you to think I have nothing else to do except to race down there to see you after class. I mean, I've done that for the past few weeks, and I don't want to seem pathetic or like I'm at your beck and call... So, I want you to think I have other plans to take care of first. But you KNOW I want to see you, and I'm not opposed to coming down there! Look I'm showing interest-- what are you watching?

Narc: Now my ego is wounded. It's over. Obviously, I'm not your priority tonight, so that's it-- don't expect me to wait up for you and have you show up here drunk. If you don't want to come watch these movies with me NOW, just don't come at all.

Hyde: Wait-- what are you saying? You don't want me to come AT ALL? But you'll still be up for a few hours! When would I have to be there to still have this work out okay? What time are the movies ending?

Narc: Forget it. Obviously you have other plans, and would rather go out drinking than come here, so whatever... Go have your fun at Cheers while I sit home by myself.

(Hmm... this seems to be a move designed to punish both of us.)

Hyde: You know what? Fine! I WILL have fun! And don't think you know everything about my social life! I'm not going to Cheers! I'm actually meeting other people. You don't know me as well as you think you do...

(And then)

Wait, no-- don't be mad-- I mean, I DO want to see you, and the only reason I said I had to go for drinks was because I had these other plans. That's the only reason I didn't volunteer to come there right away. Sorry. It's okay, right? Everything's okay between us, right? Look-- I'll prove it. I'll make pleasant chit chat. Guess what? I'm going to see a Johnny Cash movie tomorrow! You know I love that... And um... I hope you're okay tonight, and not too depressed.

No response was forthcoming. I didn't expect one. Anyway, now that I know I'm not "on call" for the evening, I need to go about figuring out what I actually want to do with myself. I wasn't entirely lying about the possibility of "downtown" plans. My friend Nipkins called me earlier and asked if I wanted to meet up with her and some friends. But Narc is probably right. I think I'll skip out on the "long distance" thing and just stop into Cheers...

Damn it! This is NOT how I wanted the evening to go...

-h-


PS: To answer Dan's question about my last contact with the Stallion-- He left me a note in early July that said

Hey Hyde,
It's the Stallion.I was in the area, so I figured I would stop by. My phone isn't working and I cracked the screen so I could not retreive your number for the 4th of July. Call me at home-- xxx-xxx-xxxx.
Would like to hang out with you!!! :)
-The Stallion

It was a little strange because he also stopped by Cheers that week, and he doesn't live or work in the neighborhood. That said, if he really broke his phone (and I know that phone number got shut down), he had no other way of getting in touch with me. I called him on Friday, July 15th and we talked for a while about all of the drama I had gone through between May (when I had last seen him) and July. He wanted to see me that night, but I put him off, as I was in the midst of a Narc-breakup and quite depressed. I also had to attend Anxious' housewarming party. Anyway, we hadn't had any contact since then...

Hope that clears it up...