One Night Too Many: Part II

So, here's the rest of the post, as promised...

On Saturday, just before I left Narc's place, he told me he wasn't feeling well.

"I don't know how I'm ever going to make it through this Halloween party tonight at M&M's," he said.

(He was going to some strange party in which he had to dress in something red). Anyway, he was drinking can of coke after can of coke, and I suggested that maybe it was the sugar that was making him feel sick. (He has blood-sugar sensitivity issues not that different from my own, and I know that if I even drank half a can of regular coke, it would fuck me up and make me feel sick).

"Diet coke makes you fatter than regular coke though," he said. "It's the aspartame that does it."

"I find that hard to believe. Besides, I'm not talking about getting fat," I said. "I'm talking about the sugar crashing. If you're worried about calories and aspartame, just drink water."

Anyway, after leaving Narc's place, I met NDN at my apartment to help get him ready for the evening. Like I said, earlier, he was going as "Hyde" for Halloween. I did his make-up exactly as I do my own for a night out; I styled a long black wig for him until it looked just like my hair, and I helped him get dressed in my dress and jewelry. We even took care of minor details, giving him one of my purses, painting my tattoo onto his arm and spraying him with my perfume. It was hilarious. And I have to say, he looked rather beautiful.

As I was a little late coming back from Narc's, and I promised my sister we would get to the party early (so I could help her with her make-up), I had no time to get dressed myself. So I threw my costume and a huge kit of makeup into my bag and NDN and set off for BigSis and Bro-in-Law's new apartment in Forrest Hills. (I have to note-- I am the expert makeup artist and costumer in my family. I love that stuff and always have a lot of it on hand!)

On the way there, I took some pics of NDN in the subway. (Maybe I'll post one here, but he's got to upload them onto SnapFish for me first.) We both had that stupid song stuck in our heads-- "Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me? Don't you wish your girlfriend was a freak like me?" Before long, he was distressed about a run in his stockings which sparked a conversation with three women sitting nearby on the subway. They were all very interested in his costume. He explained to them that he was going as "me," and showed them some pictures of me stored in his camera in which I was wearing the same black lace top as he had on. They were all amazed at the resemblance and asked if we were "twins." It was pretty funny, as we actually look nothing alike when he's not in costume.

When we got to my sister's place, he rang the bell first, pretending to be me, and I hid around the corner. Everyone was roaring with laughter. Neither of my sisters could believe it. When my mom showed up at the party she couldn't help but laugh as well. He kept calling my sisters by my nicknames for them and even asked my mom, "mommy, can we have a picture with the family?" which of course, I was left out of.

LiLSis and JBC were dressed as Barney and Betty Rubble. It was adorable. Bro-in-Law was Superman (as he is every year), but it was especially notable for me, as I had seen the Superman movie for the first time that afternoon. BigSis was dressed as a mermaid and I did a beautiful aqua and silver shimmering eyelid for her. Then I got dressed myself and went to join the crowd. It was BigSis and Bro-in-Law's good friends who I've known forever, both of their groups of work friends (who I don't know as well), the family, a few of JBC's friends, etc.

I had already decided before the party not to drink, as I try to avoid drinking in front of my family (for a variety of reasons, the least of which is maintaining my "Jekyll" facade) but NDN was all set to get smashed. Even if I had wanted to drink, it wouldn't have mattered. By 11:00 pm, I started to feel sick-- aches and pains, a slight sore throat, some chills and a fever. I went into BigSis' bedroom to close my eyes. My mom came in to find me and made me some tea. Her costume was so cute. She was dressed as a hippy with a badge on that said "I'm me in '73!" She was carrying a sign that said: "1.) Impeach the lying President! 2.) Bring home the troops! 3.) No Ideologues on the Court!" Anyway, I knew instantly that whatever it was I came down with had to be from Narc. I sent him a text:

Whatever you have, I definitely caught. Sudden onset of sore throat and chills. Sucks. Anyway, hope you found something red and are feeling better than I am! :)

My mom gave me some tylenol and after an hour or so, I rejoined the rest of the party. NDN was continuing to get more and more drunk, as was BigSis' co-worker, Charles, who happens to be flaming and quite an exhibitionist. Charles took off his shirt and had started dancing like wild in the living room, doing pushups, etc. and working up quite a sweat. NDN joined him on the dance floor and was dancing quite wildly himself. It was quite a scene, I have to say. I've never seen NDN drink that much before. He's basically a light weight, but there he was swigging half cups of straight vodka, insisting that he was acting "in character." (Ha ha... very funny.) He even asked my mom to do shots with him and grabbed her head, drawing it to his stuffed bosom. OUT OF CONTROL. I parked myself on the couch next to BigSis' friend, AGrub, and we gossiped for most of the night. NDN put me on camera duty, so I got a lot of good shots of the excitement. It was a "wild" scene in it's own weird way.

As the evening progressed, both NDN and my sister's friend English got increasingly drunk. NDN thinks she's cute and started hitting on her. He told me that he was going to try to take her home with him, which I didn't think was such a good idea, knowing English the way I do. It's too much to go into right now, but trust me, it would have been a recipe for disaster. Nevertheless, NDN was determined and started asking English all sorts of personal questions about her sex life. English is not one of those people really open to talking about sex and she snapped at NDN that it was private. Even so, she was laying kind of draped over him.

At around 1:00 am or so, I was ready to head home. I gathered NDN, English and AGrub and called a car service to take us back to Manhattan. The car ride home was quite interesting. NDN continued to try to get English to agree to get home with him, and even told the cab driver that he wanted to "fuck her" in Spanish. English doesn't speak Spanish, but AGrub and I both understood him and AGrub shot me quite a look. He also pressed her again about her sexual history, etc. and I tried to get him to drop the topic. He kept giving me "the hand," as he was too drunk to realize he was being inappropriate, and that I was trying to do "damage control." He asked for her number and she told him "Hyde will give it to you."

"I'll give it to you in the morning," I said. "After I call English."

You guys get the idea. The whole ride home was like that.

Once back in our neighborhood, English and AGrub headed separate ways, while NDN wanted to stop into Cheers so that they could all see his costume. I agreed, even though I was feeling sicker and sicker, since we only planned to stay for one drink.

NDN's costume was a SMASH! IrishBird and the Bouncer were hysterical laughing. BarMan commented to me something like "I'm starting to see why you like this guy!" and PumpedUp thought it was great. The piece de resistance was when he got up to sing "I Will Always Love You," my karaoke signature song. Everyone was nearly in tears. But NDN was increasingly incoherent. He started making fun of me, trying to act like "drunk Hyde," saying things like "Oh, but I love him! I love him!" imitating how I get about Narc. And he even sent me a text saying "I love him! I want to fuck him!" It was funny, but a little over the top. I'm still sensitive about all of that. He ordered my "go-to" drink, as BarMan calls it, but he mistakenly called BarMan "BarMan," instead of his real name. I nudged him not to start giving away my "secrets" at the bar.

NDN started dancing with as many people as possible, grabbing them and kissing them on the cheeks. He was just flirting with everyone right and left. It was out of control, in a way that's hard for me to put into words, and without wanting to embarrass him too much on this blog. After he sang, and at around 3:00 am, I had enough. I was getting the chills and was sure I had a fever, and I just wanted to go home. I told NDN it was time to leave.

Back in our building, he begged me to let him stay over at my place. I told him "no." I just needed to get as good a night's sleep as possible, and to be honest, I had enough of my drunk hyper neighbor for one evening! I unlocked his door for him and said good night, and took off my makeup, starting to unwind. I got into bed, and gratefully closed my eyes. A minute later, the doorbell rang. NDN needed help getting off his necklace and bracelet. I complied. I got back into bed and started to drift off to sleep. Wait-- what was that? The doorbell ringing again. I opened the door and found NDN stretched out on the floor in the hallway. Now, this didn't come out of nowhere. To give you guys the background-- one night last November, I got so drunk that I passed out in the hallway like that. My other next-door neighbor found me, but couldn't drag me into my apartment alone. He rang NDN's bell at 4:00 am and the two of them had to get me home. So NDN thought he was funny doing a "dramatic reenactment" of that evening. Being sick and half asleep at nearly 4:00 am, I was not so amused. I told him to get up and go to bed.

"Can't I sleep in your hallway tonight?" he begged.

"No. Now go to sleep."

I got back into bed and again was just drifting into a good sleep when I heard some thumping on my door. I tried to ignore it. It didn't stop. He must have "thumped" for a good 10 minutes. Now I was pissed off. I opened the door.

"If you don't stop banging on my door, I'm going to call downstairs to the doorman and have them drag you away. You're being a fucking asshole. Now, stop!"

I slammed the door shut. NDN sent me a series of tragic text messages:
(The last is kind of funny. If you read Dan's blog, he makes reference to Dan's girlfriend, although neither of us could make sense of what he was trying to say the next morning!)

The first:
Aliance? Drunk? drunk Luis? He taxi driver. HElp!

The second:
Me homd bvt drunk. Home bv HELP! Should I go out?

The third:
FINE! ME GO OUT! HELP HYDE! BE A FRBIEND! HELP!

The fourth:
Me hear bv and sad sad like Mako ane leave! she should let u know

Needless to say, I didn't get any of these texts until the next day, because by that point, I had shut my phone off.

The next day, I woke up feeling even worse. I stayed at home all day, trying to rest up. Today was basically the same...

I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to go to work tomorrow, but we'll see...

Gotta go watch Dr. Phil now.

later!

-h-