Friday, October 14, 2005

I quit...

Okay... Can't fall back asleep. But I'm reading back the names of recent posts:

Bad News
Scrapping Again!
Repetition and Compulsion
I feel like hell
High from Haarlem
Subway (again)
Running Wild
So, I just woke up...
It's a Mess! (and I'm Drunk), so disregard this in the morning!
Snakes in my Stomach

It all looks depressing, doesn't it?

NDN tells me I called him last night at 2:37 am. I told him to leave me some weed that he just picked up for me in the hall outside my door. When I got home (with Candy) and saw he actually did it, I called and woke him up again.

"I'm so in love with you!" I said. "You really left it right in the hall!"

"Yeah, I'm going back to sleep now."

"You don't want to come smoke up on the roof? Well, fine!"

What the fuck is wrong with me?

Okay. I quit drinking right now.

I just told that to NDN on the phone.

"I quit drinking," I said.

"I guarantee you can't do it cold turkey," he told me.

"We'll see."

I want it to be done.

I thought I was Narc-contact free last night, but I just saw I sent him a text. I wrote "I." That's all I wrote. What happened? Did I get interrupted? Did I not intend on sending it? What was I going to say? Who the fuck knows...

But I'm done.

I quit drinking.

Do you guys believe me?

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I am here to support you in your decision, but I do not think it is wise to make unrealizable goals for yourself, because you will end up hating yourself. Love, hammer

HistoryGeek said...

It's your decision and it's your work...but you have my support and encouragement in your effort.

Flash said...

What Hammer said, word for word.

Charby said...

I'm supporting you!
Whooo Go Hyde! Yeah! Whoo!
Do you not think it's a good idea that he's not got in contact? I do.

feitclub said...

I'm with you Hyde, but heed the words of Hammer and Mr. Mystic. I want you to succeed and feel better about yourself but I don't want you to fault yourself if you have trouble accomplishing this task. It's a tough one; I doubt I could do it.