I feel very present today.
Present but nervous.
Present but nervous.
Today's the day Narc is scheduled to return (although I have a feeling he's going to hang out in London for another week or so).
And all of the New Year's celebration has been recentering me. I spent four hours in synagogue yesterday. It really was restorative and a "wake-up call" of sorts. Time stretched ahead of me is a blank slate, and I see "work" on the horizon. But that doesn't help to calm my beating heart. And it doesn't help to calm my stomach.
When I think of Narc, I feel snakes crawling through my stomach. They're slithering there. They're making me flutter and squirm. And I know that they're poisonous.
I think I'm going to be Medussa for Halloween. I'm thinking of some really cool hair and makeup designs. And maybe (just maybe?) it'll get the snakes out of my stomach.
(Or maybe it's just me wanting to fully embody my "serpentine underwater" ways...)
"Seven years of a speech in a circle,
The bruises lifted from my mind
To my face."
6 comments:
Wow!
Do not call him!
He'll call you when he needs something.
He's back already? Good gods!
If I wasn't poorly I'd go find him in London & kidnap him.
London hey?
He'll call, sooner or later. Then it'll be your time to choose what to do.
Where'd you get the photo of the jellyfish? It looks like a picture I took a few weeks ago.
Dan-- I don't remember... somewhere on the internet...
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