A Fix Makes me Nauseous

I am on the phone with Narc right now. He is talking about picture frames. He just said "I'm being indecisive for once." He is telling me that he went to see Borat with the Exhibitionist. He says that he went to see Guns and Roses with ModelChick.

"Why did you disappear?" I ask.

"Um... I've been writing," he says. "I've been working."

"On what?"

"My travel essay! I'm presenting tomorrow."

"Are you?"

"Yeah... but I'm gonna flake out. I don't think I'll finish in time."

"Right."

"I haven't left the house in weeks," he says. "This little trip to the Blaue Gans is my first time out... except last night. I went out last night for my Screenwriter's group and then met up with CouchSleeper."

I hate myself...

I tell him that I have to give myself injections now.

"Are you diabetic?"

"No."

I try to explain.

"What did the doctor say about you?" I ask.

"That I checked out. They don't know. Fuck Western medicine. They gave me two types of inhalers. When they don't know what to say, they say it's a virus."

"Oh."

"Did you see Copying Beethoven?" he asks.

"No. Do you recommend it?"

"Yes."

"Okay," I say.

"So, um yeah... I should get back to my food," he is telling me. "It's getting cold. Don't you have to teach now?" he asks. "I'm gonna be keeping my head down for the next few days."

"What does that mean?" I ask glumly. My voice is flat and I don't bother to disguise it.

He clearly feels awkward at my tone.

"It's not just you, hon," he stammers. I hate when he goes into "hon"-mode. "I'm ignoring everyone right now," he just said.

"Yeah... okay."

"No, really!" he insists. "And I'll give you a call whenever..."

"You do that."

I am speaking in monotone now.

"Okay," he laughs awkwardly.

"Yeah... enjoy your meal," I say bitterly.

"Okay, hon."

"Yeah. Bye."

PS:

Just after I posted this, and a few mintues after we hung up, I received the following text from Narc:

Hyde please don't think I'm blowing you off. This is how I get when I'm writing. Will be here for a bit, if you feel like company, come by after your teaching.

I feel sick.

-h-

She saw him in his present misery,
Whom, spight of all her wrongs, she griev'd to see.
She answer'd sadly to the lover's moan,
Sigh'd back his sighs, and groan'd to ev'ry groan:
"Ah youth! belov'd in vain," Narcissus cries;
"Ah youth! belov'd in vain," the nymph replies.
"Farewel," says he; the parting sound scarce fell
From his faint lips, but she reply'd, "farewel."
Then on th' wholsome earth he gasping lyes,
'Till death shuts up those self-admiring eyes.
To the cold shades his flitting ghost retires,
And in the Stygian waves it self admires.