The Elevator Incident and the Narc Text

Since Flash expressed disbelief that I never mentioned the "Lesbian elevator incident," I decided to spit out a brief post to fill you guys in:

A while back I was hanging out with Oc and a bunch of his friends in Brooklyn, drinking and smoking up on the rooftop of his building until the early hours of the morning. (I posted about it back on July 11th.) Anyway, I got wasted that night and don't remember all that much about it, but at the end of the night, his roommate's lesbian girlfriend walked me out of the building to get a cab. In the elevator on the way down, she tried to kiss me. That's it. No big deal, right? I don't really remember it, but I suppose that I was so falling down drunk that I kind of kissed her back. I told NDN about it the next day and we laughed it off.

Then, in early September, I was hanging out with NDN and Oc and when Oc was a little drunk, he brought it up. According to him, his roommate's girlfriend said that I came on to her! I was more than a little pissed off. Why would she say something like that??? NDN speculates that it was because she was afraid I would report her advances back to NDN or Oc and that it would get to her girlfriend. I mean, obviously I'm not a lesbian and am not in the habit of coming on to girls, drunk or otherwise. It bothered me that for months Oc had been thinking that I came on to his roommate's girlfriend! Mostly because I just don't come on to people who are in committed relationships!

I don't know why I didn't mention it here... But it reminds me of a conversation I had with B today. He was laughing at me today because I casually mentioned something to him about the "Candy" story, and he had no idea what I was talking about.

"Wait! What happened?" he demanded.

I repeated the whole story for him.

"Hyde! Why didn't you tell me about this yesterday? Or the day before?"

"I don't know... It wasn't a big deal, I guess."

"If that happened to me, it would be my story of the year!" he exclaimed.

"Yeah. I guess... Maybe that's a sign that things are getting warped in my life," I suggested. "There are just too many messed up nights to keep track of."

In other news, I've been feeling run down all day today after last night's debauchery, but it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter one bit because I'm in an excellent mood! Why? The Narc text! Call him what you want (and yes, you guys have called him a lot of things!),* BUT I am sooooooooooooooooooo happy he sent me that text last night! Why? Because now he's shown weakness and he can no longer script this whole thing in the way that he wants to.

What was Narc's script, you may ask?

• Narc tells Hyde she's bad for him, she's a whore, she's pathetic, etc.
• Narc goes off to Europe for a month
• Narc has fabulous experiences and comes back a changed man
• Narc's life is miraculously improved upon his return, he becomes a famous movie director, finds a perfect girlfriend to save him from his inability to love and his own obvious issues with alcohol, and so on and so forth
• Hyde continues to pine for Narc so that he can call her if (and only if) he needs her, but can write her off in his own mind as being pathetic and overly needy of him, an unhealthy influence, etc.

Up until this point, I couldn't prove that his script was anything other than true. Why not?

• He did tell me I'm bad for him, etc.
• He did go off to Europe
• He may very well have had fabulous experiences and come back a changed man
• His life may very well have miraculously improved in the ways mentioned above
• I did continue to pine for him, and let him know it, writing him a text last Saturday, Tuesday, and Thursday (each of the nights I went out drinking), sending him a clear message that I haven't changed.

But guess what? Now I have evidence that he hasn't changed either! YAY!

• Obviously he hasn't come back a changed man (his habits surely haven't changed!)
• Obviously his life is not fabulous and fixed
• And obviously he's still drinking too much and thinking about me too.

The end! So, there!

So, while I'm not going to call him, I am happy about his slip up. Right now, I bet he's pissed at himself for having texted me, but all the while, smug in his certainty that I'm going to take the bait and offer myself to him again and again and again. I can't wait. When he doesn't hear from me, I know it's going to make him nervous.

Good.

Maybe I shouldn't care, but you all know I still do, so there's no use in pretending that I don't.

In other news, I did drink on Saturday night. :( But that doesn't mean I've given up my resolve to change my ways. I just shouldn't have gone to that party if I was serious about quitting. It's clear that I'm not ready to hold my own and abstain in a party environment. That said, it was a very interesting party and I have to tell you guys all about it. I also have to tell you about the spaghetti-fueled marijuana drenched late-night evening I shared with NDN. Good times...

But I don't have the energy for all that right now.

So, more later...

h

*A small sampling of Narc-nomers from the comments of my dear readers:
Narc is a...

lil' dick
a cock
someone who makes Flash's "blood boil," (and who makes him "madder than, erm , a very mad thing")
a bastard
a shitty man
an infantile little twat (I happen to think this one is the most right on!)
a prick
a cold heartless bastard
a major cock-sucking trampwanking twat (I think we all know that's from Charby!)
insecure and immature
a twat
someone without "any redeeming relationship qualities in him"
crazy
a total wanker
one of the biggest assholes/wastes of time ever
obviously a jerk
a twat and a wanker
a fucking asshole
narc = baaaaaad
an ass
a cuntwhore (Charby again!)
a scary SOB
parasitic
a cunt
and a top class tosser!

You guys have a dirty vocabulary!