I've spent most of the day today like a lump on my couch.
This is no good.
I feel anxious, immoblized, depressed.
I am unmotivated.
Why didn't he call me last night?
Because, Hyde! That's the way it is. Stop caring so much!
I can't... I just DO care. And I can't help but feel like I screwed something up. Again.
I want him to call me.
I want to go out tonight.
I want to go out; I want to go out; I WANT TO GO OUT!!!
I know it would give me energy. I know it would make me feel better.
But these thoughts are no good for me.
I can't see feeling any better unless I hear from Narc.
Or unless I go "O-O-OUT TONIGHT!"
Like I said... this is no good...
I feel a little sick.
-h-
4 comments:
Can you go out and stay sober?
If so, go out. You are not chained to the house....are you?
Enjoy life, forget about Narc for now, he'll call you in the wee hours of the night. It's still way too early to hear from him.
It's your life...remember?
I'm in Los Angeles. I like New York better.
I'm in Crapsville. I like New York better.
I'm in Osaka. I like New York better too!
Don't beat yourself up for feeling upset that he didn't call. That's a perfectly understandable reaction when someone you care about doesn't reciprocate in the way that you'd like, even if you can kind of see it coming. But it is definitely a mistake to assume the reason he didn't call is something you did.
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