(Why "again?" Because I feel like I must have used this title before. But I'm too lazy to go back and check...)
I'm feeling rather out of sorts. I was irritable all day yesterday and very unproductive. I felt anti-social as well. So much so that I cancelled my dinner plans last night with my friend, Nipkins, in favor of finishing up some grading that I never ended up finishing! I promised my students their papers back today, and I promise you-- they're not going to be happy with me.
I don't feel well, though. I am desperately tired and nauseated. (Wait a minute... I felt like this a year ago, but no-- it's not that.) I don't know what it is... All I know is that yesterday and today feel like shit.
I collapsed into bed early last night-- at around 10:30. And then, guess what? I got a text from Narc: Oh Patriot, oh PATRIOT...
I ignored.
I continued to feel sick.
And then another at 11:00 pm: Coming out?
I didn't answer.
Narc couldn't believe it:
What? Hyde not responding immediately?!?! What is going on here?!?! Something must be wrong with the text messaging system. It MUST be a mistake. I better call...
He did.
"Hey Hyde, it's Narc. I'm at the Patriot and I just gave you a text. But it just occurred to me that my texts are not necessarily arriving on time. So again-- it's about 11:15, and I'm gonna stay here for like one more drink and go back. But I have the new director's cut-- uncut version of KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, which everyone says kicks serious fucking ass. It's like GLADIATOR times ten, apparently. So I'm gonna start watching that soon. Um, so... If you wanna come down, meet up tonight... Thursday night... Then, call me back. Alright. Bye."
I listened to the message but didn't call back. And it was so fucking hard for me to fall asleep last night, despite my utter exhaustion.
This morning when I woke up, I found he had left another message on my home phone (the ringer had been shut off). That one was left at around 12:30 am and basically he said "I'm assuming you're out, but if you get this, call me..." This relationship is exhausting me. I'm sorry, but it is FUCKING EXHAUSTING!!!!
This morning Brick and I texted back and forth a few times. It's strange how a total stranger can come into your life out of nowhere and have a huge presence so immediately. I guess being in therapy together makes it easy to bond faster.
Damn, I wanted to drink last night. But I didn't.
I have to go staple exams together now. I'm administering in a few minutes. And I have to face the wrath of disgruntled students who will be told that they're not getting their papers back.
In other news-- I had a quick bite to eat with B last night. (I love him so much). I got to catch up for a little while with NDN, whom I haven't been seeing all that much of lately! (He's off to Wisconsin this weekend!). Dan and I texted, as he's back in town. And Hammer's family is here visiting. I am supposed to have dinner with them tonight, but I honestly don't feel up to it. I want to go home and crash out as soon as I can.
More later...
-h-
7 comments:
Well, at least Narc seems to be making an effort, eh?
I am going to be pissed at you and your stupid embryo if you are pregnant, so if you value your life and our friendship you had better start praying now that you are tired for some other reason. Everyone around me is pregnant. Everyone except for me. Why can some women get pregnant without even trying and others pray and try and screw but still cry over thier empty wombs? Sigh. I should be ovulating today or tomorrow. Wish me luck. I am starting to worry that something is wrong...
By the way, my sister is pregnant. Again. Fucking nasty-ass uber-fertile bitch. And my husband's grandmother asked me when I am going to have a baby. Again. Fucking old-ass post-fertile bitch.
VJ
good for you not texting narc back. you rock. keep it up.
Thanks everyone for all the support. Eric-- I'm glad you came by!
VJ-- I'm praying I'm tired for some other reason, not for the sake of our friendship, but for my own sake-- believe me. Really though-- I'm not pregnant unless something freakish happened. We've been really careful. I think I'm just irritable from not drinking and tired from not sleeping.
Which of your sisters is pregnant again? As for you, you're sure to give birth to the spawn of Satan. The coming of the antichrist must require perfect timing and that's why you haven't been able to get pregnant yet. As for your relatives down there-- I think they all need a good kick in the head. Tell them to mind their own business.
love,
h
All this baby/Hellspawn talk reminds me of those posters I see around town for The Omen remake - they just say 6.6.06.
I think it's wonderful that you're putting yourself first lately and not trying to do too much at once. If you're too tired to go out to dinner, then don't! The other people will understand because they are your friends.
(Not me though. I haven't seen you in nine months so no excuses ^_^).
why has no one commetned on the "i want a drink but didnt" bit?
Tha'ts super cool hudey"
(yes I relaise I#m posting under the influence!)
Yay for not texting Narc!
Yay for not drinking!
Since you don't have a sore throat, I'll assume I didn't give you my illness. Drinking water is always good...also, if you can afford accupuncture, it's great for immune stuff and to help ease cravings.
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