Email Follies (again)

More on my Narc story to come, but first a quickie...

So, last night I had dinner with my friend Jake. I hadn't seen him in a few months and it was a lot of fun. I told him to go check out Narc's blog and this morning he sent me an email. I also got an email today from the Stallion! Apparently he's in San Diego now. I haven't heard from him since May...

Both emails made me laugh, so here they are...

From Jake:

Hi Hyde,

So very nice to see you last night! You look good...

So I checked out Narc's blog. I gotta tell you, I don't think I've read anything quite so blatantly pretentious and annoying since glancing through P's online articles in The Morning News ("TMN" for those in the know). Case in point...

At any rate, this particular couple, quite recently, felt the most pressing need to get out of New York for just a few days... To get away from the unending doldrum that often permeates the air in the final few weeks of the summer... And after weighing all the options (Hawaii was about as far away as we were willing to go, here, for a five day vacation), Miami finally seemed the obvious choice (and thinking about it now in retrospect, it's quite amazing, really, that I've been a Manhattanite for five years, yet have only hopped down there once all this time).

This "particular couple" felt the "most pressing need" to get away from the "unending doldrum" of NY by "hopping down" to Miami?! And what's with all the parentheses? Does he actually talk like this?! Also, he seems short; is he short? On the other hand, I can see how you might be attracted to his affected sense of drama...

In any case, I feel the most pressing need to tell you that you should dump his ass.

take care,
jake

And from the Stallion...

I have been thinking about you the past few days and wondering how you are doing. I tried to call you a few weeks ago, but I have a new phone so I am missing a lot of important numbers. So I decided to e-mail ya. Hopefully you still have the same account.

And the catalyst for this e-mail is that today I saw a woman that could have been your absolute twin. She even did that thing with her jaw that you do when you smile. Same body type, I mean it was uncanny. We spoke for a little bit and in the back of my mind I was a little sad that it wasn't you.

And here I am. I would be honered and privliged to just say what's up. xxx-xxx-xxxx is my new number or you can e-mail me.

I miss you and I really would like to catch up. I wonder if I my timing is impeccible as usual when we haven't spoken in awhile.

Love, Your friend always
STALLION