Drunk Narc (and Drunk Hyde) Revisited

I woke up this morning to two drunk messages from Narc (beautifully transcribed for your reading pleasure below):

Message #1 (4:14 am)

Hey Hyde, It's Narc. I'm in the cab and this cab is "rock and rolling."

(Can you believe he actually said that? Anyway, it was followed by something totally incoherent. Then...)

I don't know. Um... Yeah.... Um... I don't know what to tell you. Um... Alright. We're done. I know we're done. But I want to fuck you tonight. Um... Yeah, okay, I got to get going. Give me a call back. Bye.

Message #2 (4:32 am)
(sounding a little more sober, but barely!)

Hey Hyde. This is SO STUPID, but um... I don't know. You know what? Honest to God, I just want someone to talk to. It's about 4:30. And um... I just thought... Well, I wanted to talk to you. But your number is famously out of... out of shit, out of shit.

(Huh?)

But anyway, it's 4:30 now. And uh... yeah. (sigh)
Alright, I'll see what I can do. I'll see if I can find some food. Alright. Bye.

Then my phone showed one missed call from him at 4:41 am. I think we have a record here--the first time that getting crazy drunk SAVED me from the Narc. I was passed out into a deep slumber by 2:30 am or so. Now, to be fair to Narc, I did instigate this last night. I texted him around 1:00 am that I wanted to fuck him. Shows how drunk I was... But I can't hate myself too much for that, because I just can't bear to hate myself any more than I already do right now. I woke up this morning STILL drunk (which is making my teaching day hell), and I wrote him back. Probably a mistake. I'm such a loser for this, but here's what I said--

Got ur messages. Sorry I missed u! I KNOW (as u put it) that we're "done," but does that mean we can't fuck now and then? U know what I want & where to find me... ;)

Okay, that message was wrong on SO many levels. First of all, if I'm texting him for sex, then I clearly don't "know" that we're done. And second of all, he has no fucking clue about "what I want." Clearly, I don't either. Ughhhh!!! But what's done is done. One good thing to say though, loving readers. I do have one reason not to beat myself over the head--today is the ONE MONTH anniversary of flushing my medicine down the toilet. Not bad, eh?

But back to my story... How did I end up in such a sorry state? Yesterday was a shitty day for me. I spent five hours in the morning alone in the hospital with my stepbrother. The piece of his skull that they had preserved in his abdomen got infected on Wednesday night and they had to do a surgery to remove it. Now it's lost forever. My stepfather stayed with him overnight and left for work when I arrived around 9:00. I had to stay until my stepsisters arrived at 1:30. There was a lot going on (a clogged food tube, people coming to evaluate him from the long-term care facility, etc.) and I had to keep track of everything since I was the only one there. On top of that, I was reading about art under the Nazis, which was not too cheering. Watching him was so hard. He seems to be in so much pain, but never moves the right side of his body (which makes sense with the massive left-side brain damage). It was awfully depressing.

I left there and headed back to the city around 2:00. I had an annoying cab driver from the hospital to the train station who asked me my name and when I told him, kept saying it over and over, telling me I had a "beautiful name." In the meanwhile I was trying to talk to my mom on my cell to fill her in on what the doctors were saying. Back at home I was too depressed to do much of anything, so I layed around for a while and vegetated. At around 6:00 I talked to Hammer for an hour or so on the phone and then took off for boxing. (God knows where I got the energy for it!)

Back from boxing, I should have gone home. (How many times have I told this story by now?) But instead, I grabbed a book and went to Cheers. I started off by reading and sipping wine. I was hanging out with BarMan for a while. The Colombians showed up (who only work weekends at Cheers), and I started talking to the one who always flirts with me. I drank two martinis and offered to buy him a drink. The old-timer from the other night was there too. He said he "can't speak" for the behavior of Super321. It was a good crowd, but I was still depressed so I drank some more. I was getting bored of it though. It all gets so fucking boring sometimes. I texted my friend Jake. Then I texted NextDoorNeighbor to see if he wanted to meet me for a drink. He showed up an hour or so later with a girl he's seeing. I was already wasted and bought them both drinks. (I think I was buying rounds for the whole fucking bar at that point!) We hung out for a while, and with BarMan too. I honestly don't remember much after that. I must have been at my tipping point.

The next thing I know, I opened my eyes and I was laying on top of my bed with my boots still on. I remembered having seen NextDoorNeighbor, so I sent him a text apologizing for my drunkeness. He called me right back.

"You weren't that drunk, we had so much fun with you!"

(Okay, so at least they couldn't tell...)

"I'll see you Saturday for the museum," he said.

(Huh? What the fuck is he talking about?)

"Okay..." I told him.

Then I saw I had two voice mails. It was the drunken Narc. I was wondering why he called me so I went back and checked my outgoing texts and saw that I had provoked the whole thing with an "I want to fuck you" message, (although I don't remember doing so).

Anyway, that's pretty much it for now. I have to go teach my second class in 10 minutes. I'm dying to go home and shower and change. I basically rolled out of bed in my clothes from last night and came to teach because I was so short on time this morning. I feel like there's dirt under my fingernails even though I washed my hands a million times. (Should I start psychoanalysing myself?) It's kind of gross. Probably hanging out with Hammer tonight. Some girl time will do me good.

I hate this fucking addiction to Narc though. He's such an ass, but I feel temporarily re-infected. If I can stay sober through the weekend, I should be back to working him out of my system. Wish me luck!

-Hyde