One more thing... I just dropped into Cheers (for five minutes, no drinks) because it's PumpedUp's birthday today and I bought him a little box of chocolates and got him a card. IrishBird told me that the Wall Street guy had just been in there. He said that he was looking for me. She asked him if he wanted my number to call me, and he said "well, I just talked to her..." Huh? Why would he lie about that? Anyway, I told IrishBird earlier today that I had that police badge. She said that she mentioned it to him and he said that it's his. He also told her that he got ripped off last night--lost all his money. He must have had a few thousand dollars rolled up in that stack he kept flashing, so I'm not surprised. I do feel for him though. It reminds me of the time that I got "mugged" and lost nearly $360 worth of "medicine." It sucked.
And by the way, I did it... I confronted my therapist with this whole drinking thing and told her that I need her help. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, but I don't think it's going to be entirely smooth sailing either.
Flash and Sunshine, thanks so much for the support in your comments! It really helps to not feel stupid and like this is all my fault. Anyway, hopefully I won't have to go cold turkey, so we can still party when the two of you are in NY. The end of May seems light-years away, and who the fuck knows how things will be then.
Later...
-Hyde
2 comments:
We need to formulate a plan to dispose of April!
Hello dear,
I haven't been able to post because my cable connection hasn't been working for the past 2 days (and computers at work are VERY strictly monitored). Anyway, I'm really glad that you were able to talk to your therapist. I also think that a lot of your drinking comes from the fact that you seem to dread going to sleep. I mean, it’s just insane how much you do and how long you go with no rest! No wonder that you get sick – your body just can’t handle it. I don't know if it's because 1) you don’t want to sleep alone 2) you can't fall asleep or 3) you just can't stand the thought of going to bed at a healthy hour and just HAVE to go out. You seem to NEVER sleep unless you’re so tired that you absolutely can’t move a finger. Either that or you just pass out without remembering anything. I don’t know, maybe I’m completely wrong, but it just seems like your desire to drink or hook up with guys would be much less if you can get over this not wanting to sleep thing, you know?
Well, good luck with everything. I love you and miss you lots and think of you all the time!
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