Monday, December 11, 2006

Small Talk

1:30 am: The phone rings.

"Hello?"

"Hello, Hyde."

"Hey... What's up?"

"I have to tell you two things..."

"What's that?"

"I need two things. I desperately need two things."

"What do you need?"

"I need corn. And I need you-- I am completely in love with you!"

"Wait... What did you say?"

"Are you a moron, Hyde? What don't you understand?"

"Just say it again, okay?"

"I said, I- NEED- CORN. That's the first part. Did you get that? Did you get that part, Hyde?"

"Well, I heard it, but I can't say that I 'got' it."

"Ugh, God! You are a moron. Are you a moron, Hyde?"

"I'm starting to think so."

"I'm a genius."

"Yes, I know."

"I wrote my script, and I'm a genius. And you're an academic and you're a moron."

"Ok. Why do you need corn?"

"You're a moron Hyde! Are you a moron?"

"Yes, Narc. I'm a moron. Why do you need corn?"

"Corn is in everything. It makes things sweet."

"What? So you need corn syrup? You need sugar? Ok. I get it."

"Ahhhh! So NOW she gets it! Oh! Now, after I explain it! Ha! Ha! Why are you such a moron??"

"I don't know, okay? So... corn... ok. But what was the second part?"

"What second part?"

"The second part of what you said..."

"I want to fuck you."

"That's not what you said."

"What did I say? I love you?"

"Yeah-- don't say that."

"Why not? I'm in love with you."

"Ugh."

"I want to do --------- to you."

"Ok, but that's not--"

"Come down here."

The conversation at this point, becomes blog-inappropriate, so I'm skipping a big chunk.

"Narc, just stop this. I can't do this. You love PopStar. You're getting married."

"Just come here, Hyde. I can give you money... for the taxi. I can give you love."

"I don't think so. You're engaged."

"You know that's a joke."

"What do you mean?"

"I told you-- Ugh! Hyde! You are such a wanker, you know that?"

"Oh, really? I'm the wanker? You're drunk Narc. Where did you go tonight?"

"I didn't go anywhere. I haven't left the fucking house since Friday in the fucking cold! Since I went to get my blood tested in the fucking cold."

"But you're drunk. You called me a wanker. You only say that when you're drunk."

"Maybe I've had a few."

"At home?"

"Champagne. But, I don't owe you an explanation."

"I didn't say you did."

"You're a wanker."

"No, Narc. I think you're the wanker."

"Well, I suppose I am. I'll give you that. But just get down here, already. I want you to come here. I want to do ---------- to you."

"Narc, you're engaged. You're in love with someone else."

"Ok. I love her. But, I also love you... among others."

"Among others? What the fuck does that mean? What others?"

"Just come here. I love you."

"Don't say that. I can't come, okay? I have to teach."

"Ugh! Hyde! You can just come here and we can fuck, and then you can go if you want."

"Ha ha ha ha! What am I? A prostitute? Are you going to pay me for that?"

"Of course not. I didn't mean that. I just want someone--"

"'Someone?' Anyone?"

"Don't be like that, Hyde. Don't make me out to be so terrible. I want you. You know that."

"No. I really don't."

"But I love you and I want you."

"You don't. You told the Sorceress that I was your 'fuck buddy.'"

"What? The Sorceress? She told you that?"

"She did."

"Don't take anything she says! Don't take what she says for anything! She doesn't know anything. She fucks with people's minds for a living!"

"I don't know about that..."

"What did you tell her about me, Hyde? What did you two talk about that you like her so much?"

"I didn't tell her anything about you, Narc. I just told her about me."

"What? So you two bonded or something?"

"You could say that."

"The fucking Sorceress interfering in my life again! You can't listen to that."

"So, that's not what you told her? That's not what you say about me?"

"You're not just my fuck buddy, Hyde."

"Then, what am I?"

"Just come here. Don't you love me anymore?"

"Not like I used to."

"What does that mean?"

"I used to be head over heels for you Narc. You know that."

"So, you're not anymore?"

"No. Not anymore."

"Since when? Since I've been dying?"

"Since you went to Russia."

"I think it's since I've been dying."

"I think it's since you went off to get married."

"I told you that's a joke!"

"It's not a joke that you're here writing about how in love you are in your little essay."

"What? How do you know what my essay is about?"

"It's about your trip to Russia. You told me that!"

"I did?"

"Yes."

"So, you don't love me anymore?"

"I do, Narc. Just not like I did. And I'm trying not to."

"You're a wanker, Hyde."

"How would you feel?"

"What?"

"How would you feel if you were head over heels and the girl went off and got engaged to someone else? It sucks. It hurts. It can't stay the same for me."

"It's a joke."

"Not to me. My birthday is the day after tomorrow, Narc."

"I KNOW that! I KNOW when your birthday is! Christ! Your birthday is in two days! I fucking KNOW that!"

"Okay."

"But, if you don't come down here, then..."

"Then... what?"

"I won't come to your house. I won't come to your house . I won't give you a present... no call... no card."

"Are you threatening me, Narc?"

"Yes."

"Don't make me laugh. I have to teach in the morning. I'm sorry! It's not going to work, okay?"

"Oh! So, I'm just terrible! Is that what you're telling me?"

"I didn't say that."

"What are you wearing?"

"A tank top and my underwear."

(Again, the conversation takes a turn that I have to omit.)

"Get down here now, Hyde."

"I told you-- I can't."

"Where are you?"

"I'm in bed, Narc."

"Where are you?"

"I said-- I'm in bed."

"No! You're such a moron, Hyde! Where are you?"

"I don't know what you want to hear from me right now."

"You're not here."

"Yes. Because I'm not coming."

"You don't love me, Hyde. You're not there for me. I don't want to be alone right now and you're not there for me at all. You're a liar."

"What?!? How can you say I'm not there for you? Obviously I am! I sat with you in the hospital every single day. I've been there for you non-stop!"

"You don't love me."

"Narc... I do. Just not like I did. Things just can't be what they were."

"You're not there for me."

"You have to be joking. All I've been is 'there for you.'"

"Whatever... Just go to sleep, if that's what you want, Hyde. If that's how you want it to be, go to sleep!!!"

"Ok. I will."

"I love you, Hyde, but you're going to sleep."

"Don't say that you love me."

"Why not?"

"It gets to me. You make me weak like that."

"I know."

"I have to go to bed now, Narc."

"Fine! Don't come here for me. Just go back to sleep if that's what you're going to do!"

"Ok."

"Don't come here!"

"I won't."

"Good bye."

He hung up the phone. Half an hour later, I got a text from him: Watching "Disclosure"... Call me when you can!!

An hour after that, I got another text: Watching "Birth," too funny. Call when up.

I wrote back this morning at 7:00 am: "Birth" is too creepy. Hope you finally got some sleep, my dear. And remember what I said...

PS: This may be my last post at 27!!!

insanity, right?

love,

h

14 comments:

HistoryGeek said...

2 things: What an ass! and you are amazing! That's a huge step you made.

If you don't blog tomorrow, happy birthday!

shorty said...

Yes, Happy birthday! Enjoy YOUR day. Do things that you love to do and enjoy to do.

You did an amazing thing last night, and though maybe you can't see it yet, it was a huge step and a huge success.

YOU ROCK!!!

Anonymous said...

Perfect, PER-FECT for the screenplay! I"m glad you wrote it down! Also good job, you don't even know your own strength.

Anonymous said...

Mr. Mystic- Did you put extra ... on purpose this time because of my question?

Anonymous said...

Sometimes reading your blog is like reading someone else writing about my life...

I hope you have a fantastic birthday!

feitclub said...

So he's still drinking even though he was warned not to? Even after two trips to the hospital in a matter of weeks? That's kinda scary.

Anyway, I think you did the right thing. Congratulations for not responding to his calculated (albeit drunken and clumsy) attempt to get you to come to him.

Anonymous said...

Mr. Mystic- This question from yesterday.."At 12/10/2006 7:52 PM, Francis said...
Mr. Mystic, I've been wondering for a while why you make those dots at the end of your comments. Any particular reason?
and to answer your question who Francis is, I am Francis.

Aravis said...

You showed a lot of strength, hyde. Like Mystic, I kept thinking that I would hang up on him. But the truth is I was once involved with someone the way you are with Narc and though he hurt me in so many ways, I couldn't just walk away at first either. On the other side of it now it's easy for me to say "I would never put up with that!"

But I did.

I hope that this is the true beginning of the end for you. That you find a way to take better care of yourself where he is concerned, and in future relationships. As others have already said, you're stronger than you know.

Happy Birthday, Hyde!

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday Hyde!!

WELL DONE on that conversation. Don't underestimate yourself. Girl Power, as my 10y.o. would say.

Flash said...

I too think that you handled that conversation really well. Bravo!

Oh & by the way...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, You smashing little smasher!
xx

Charby said...

Happy Birthday HYDEY!!!!

And Mystic - I've always wondered that too!

Anonymous said...

Don't turn around, girlfriend. Don't listen to that boy's song.
VJ

Minx said...

Hey, Hyde. I hope you had an excellent birthday, much happy wishes. That phone call sounds so...heartbreaking to me. You did a great job handling it.

swisslet said...

OK. SO I've been away for a while and he's still an asshat, and you're still a very cool lady. Excellent. Plus ca change!

ST