The bad news:
I drank again last night, ending my dry streak. I drank a lot for absolutely no reason at all. (Well, not A LOT really... only about 8-9 drinks. I got home with complete coherence and memory intact. I did embarrass myself, though, by spilling my guts to two Italian guys in the bar). I also "drlogged," to use Dan's term for "drunk blogging." Thank goodness I got less sleep than all of you, hitting the sheets at nearly 3:00 am and getting up this morning at 6:30, so I was able to erase the post early this morning-- before embarrassing myself in front of you!
Some more bad news:
As you know, my date with TT was difficult for me and I haven't yet processed it all out. I can't write about it yet. Maybe I never will. I'll wait until the mood strikes.
Some "mixed" news (depending on your point of view):
Narc called me a million times on Monday night and I went to see him yesterday morning, spending half the day with him. Thank god for comfort zones. (Not really, but yes really...) Okay... so I'm still in love with him. But I was shocked-- his hold on me has weakened A LOT. It felt totally different being with him this time. A taste of freedom, perhaps?
Oh, and I actually might like TT. He is certainly REALLY into me and he seems like a gentle guy... part of what is freaking me out.
Some good news:
I'm determined to get back on the horse today and go on a drinking-hiatus again. As strange as it was for me to abstain this week, I felt some of my perpetual brain-fog starting to lift.
Oh, and I had my cabaret class again last night which kicked ass.
So... that's all I can muster this morning on a headache. My brain right now is an uncomfortable fusion of leftover whiskey and emotional confusion. It's not a good combination before 8:00 am. I hope I survive teaching this morning. Even more so, I hope that when I get home I can take a nap. I'm never good at sleeping once I've already gotten up for the day. But God knows, I need the sleep!
Sorry not to be more informative about the TT-date...
Have a good day, everyone!
-h-
PS: VJ writes to me that she just got engaged. Yay! I'm happy for her. Congratulations, VJ!
5 comments:
Thanks, H! I'll let you know when I am pregnant so that you can wish for a boy and buy him silky baby-blue ice skating uniforms.
-VJ
Hmmm, the difference between us is I never erase my drunk posts. I'm sorry to hear about your troubles and I'm happy to hear about the good news. What more can I say?
I suppose at least the good thing to look at that temporary drinking blip is that you knew what you were doing and got home with complete memory!
TT sounds sweet, and I'm sure you can carry on with this drinking-hiatus
It's a mixed bag isn't it. Hang in there, and I hope it gets easier.
hello.
I don't know about anybody else, but my point of view is simply to wish you happiness, and I reckon you should get that where and when you can.
wow. that was almost zen, wasn't it?
It's true though.
ST
Post a Comment