Blast from the Past

I was just walking back to my office after class and I bumped into a former student. For the 2001-2002 school year, I taught high school at a small private school in Queens. I was only 22 when I started there, yet many of my students were as old as 17 and 18.

One boy, in particular, always had a crush on me and made it a point to stay in touch even though I left after only one year there. (I left to pursue my MA full time). He was a senior when I taught there, and really was a sweet kid. He used to dress all "ghetto" and always wanted to be called "MC Spyda" because he was really into Spider Man. He used to confide a lot in me, about his alcoholic household, his girlfriend's pregnancy scare, and their tearful breakup. Since then, I've seen him a handful of times. He happens to go to the college where I'm now teaching and I've passed him in the hall a few times last year and the year before. We've met up for lunch once or twice with another former student, but I haven't seen him in at least a year.

Anyway, when I passed him in the hall just now, we both gave each other a double-take. He has totally changed his style and appears to be going "goth." He's growing his hair long, has an eyebrow ring, and was wearing a black T-shirt with gothic-style white lettering. (I don't remember what it said.) He also had a new tattoo covering the entire back half of his calf. He was surprised to see my black hair. (Incidentally, he really liked it.) We stopped to talk, mostly about end of the semester stress, looking for a summer job, and all the rest. It was so cute though. I could tell that he's still crushing on me. Everything he said was so earnest, and he kept staring me in the eye.

I remember that when I was teaching at the high school, I always felt a little strange. I had to present myself as a responsible adult with good moral values who always walked the straight and narrow. A lot of times, my students would come to me and ask for advice about their love lives, etc. They always hassled me for more information about my personal life, and I always had to admonish them for asking. I felt a lot of the time, like I was a bit of a hypocrite because I had to encourage a certain set of behavioral standards in them, when I had hardly gotten my own life together. Seeing this former student is strange because now we are more like peers, whereas then, I was clearly the "adult" and he was the "child." I guess he's about 21 or so now.

Anyway, it was just a reminder of how things change, but at the same time--of how much they stay the same. It also caused me to reflect on the ways in which I've impacted other people's lives. It makes me want to be a better person more consistently.

I'm in kind of a pensive mood today for other reasons as well. Today marks the three year anniversary of when B and I broke up. (It's also the day my sister ordered her wedding dress. I was out on Long Island with my sister, my mom, and my grandmother (just before she died), watching my sister try dresses on. I felt so close to my family that day that it gave me the courage to end things with B.) The last year that B and I had together was that year that I taught high school. We broke up in May and I took off for London for the summer. It was a rough summer in a lot of ways. (By the way, Flash--I lived half the summer at that internet cafe on Tottenham Court Road. I smiled when I read your blog and you mentioned it!)

Well, that's it for now. I just blogged last night, so there's not much more to report. Besides, I have to run to the library and pick up a book for B before heading to my voice lesson.

lol,
hyde