Bezoukhoff and Booze

Second post of the day!

(First of all, my right arm is tingling right now and I can't get it to stop. It's really uncomfortable. That can't be a good thing. Plus, it's making it hard to type.)

Anyway, yesterday after class I had plans to meet up with Bezoukhoff. I have to admit, I was feeling a little odd about it after our text exchange last week. Bezoukhoff has become a very dear friend, but sometimes I feel a little strange about things.

But I had a few hours between class and his arrival. I caught up with Hammer a little, but she was in a rush, so we only had a few minutes. After that, I went home and watched Dr. Phil. (Yes, I am rapidly becoming an addict. He had on two teenage girls who escaped from a cult).

After that, I decided I wanted to sing. I put on the Mozart Requiem, and sang it straight through--all twelve movements. Mostly, I sang the alto part unless the sopranos had some passage I was jealous of. I tried to sing all four parts in the quartets (singing the bass up the octave so I wouldn't kill myself.) I was being such a dork. I was singing in front of the mirror and danced around, trying to look "earnest" and "passionate" at appropriate moments. I was sad when it ended, and I still wanted to sing some more. My voice was brilliantly warmed up at that point, so I busted out the Puccini. I sang "Vissi d'arte," "O mio babbino caro," "Mussetta's waltz," and "Mi chiamano Mimi." I acted all of them out, even falling to my knees as I sang "Vissi d'arte." (It's always performed that way). It was brilliant. I was hitting high C's with full force and totally enough space. It was ringing. I could feel it in my cheek-bones. At some point though, I felt my cords starting to get tired, so I figured I better stop. (That was about 7:00 pm).

I knew that Bezoukhoff wouldn't be by until 8:00. I really should have stayed home and written up a quiz I had to give my students today, but I was feeling a little strange, so I decided to deal with my anxiety "a la Hyde--" I headed to Cheers.

When I got to Cheers, I took a seat at the end of the bar, after saying hello to PumpedUp and IrishBird. PumpedUp had one of the new nickels and showed it to me. The day-shift waitresses were there and the Hungarian waitress came over to chat with me. It turns out that we both have an interest in stones. I showed her the amethyst I carry. She told me that she had a stone once that she felt beating in her palm like a heartbeat. (Huh?) I asked her what her favorites were and told her to go check out the Astro Dienst Gallery on Madison. Then she introduced me to a new girl working there.

"This is Hyde," she said. "She comes here a lot... Like, every day!"

We both laughed, but I felt a little pathetic.

"I live just there on the corner," I said in a pitiable attempt to explain away my "alcoholism."

Another of the waitresses approached. I couldn't remember her name and hoped I wouldn't be called upon to know it.

"Hey, Hyde... We were at a bar down the street last week, and the bartender there said that she knew you."

"Really? It must have been Manchester, right?"

"Yeah, that's it. We told her that we worked at Cheers and she said that one of her customers--Hyde--hangs out at Cheers all the time."

"You must have been talking to Maeve," I said. "I'm obsessed with her white russians."

"Maeve...that's right."

"I go there a lot when Cheers closes, if I still want to be out. They're always open late."

"Yeah, we were there pretty late too," she told me. "Maeve had only good things to say about you, so don't worry!"

(The fact that she said that made me worry).

"Oh, that's cool," I said. "I had a little drama there once... I was with there with a guy I was seeing and we had a little 'incident,' and since then, she always asks me if I'm still with him, even though he's an asshole." (I was referring to the night before Valentine's Day when I was there with Narc and Anxious.)

"Well, all girls go through that kind of thing... We all understand each other on that one, right?"

"I hope so!" I laughed.

(I guess it looks like I'm getting a "reputation" around the neighborhood. This is supposed to be "anonymous" New York City, not some fucking small town!)

I kind of wanted to end the conversation, so I turned back towards the bar to ask IrishBird for a refill. After that, Hammer called me on my cell. She said that she had just gotten a facial and it hurt. She was on her way to meet the Wizard who was being cranky.

As for me--I was trying to be a "good girl" and not drink too much, so I only ordered Chardonnay, but I must have had four or five glasses by the time Bezoukhoff arrived. Plus, they give HUGE glasses of wine at Cheers--fucking fish bowls!

So I was unsuccessful. By the time Bezoukhoff arrived I was feeling a little drunk. (It's so strange. Sometimes I get drunk faster on wine than on whiskey. It's like my body is so adjusted to whiskey that it doesn't fuck me up that fast. I won't feel it for the longest time, but then BOOM--all at one moment I'm wasted. With wine, I feel it as I go.) I think it was made much worse by the fact that I had hardly eaten. We hung out at the bar and talked for a while. I was genuinely having a great time. He gave me a beautiful coin-- a Mercury-head dime with a winged "Liberty" on the front. On the back there's a bundle of Roman fasces and an olive branch. I was surprised to see the "fasces" symbol in use by anyone but the fascists, but Bezoukhoff said that it's not all that uncommon.

After a while, I was drunk-drunk. I started ordering Vodkas for Bezoukhoff because I felt guilty that I was drunk and he was not. I wanted him to catch up. (He goes for my favorite brand--Kettle One. Yay! Although I have to say, it's not very patriotic for a Russian to be drinking Dutch Vodka!)

I still hadn't eaten dinner. Bezoukhoff strongly advised that I do so, so I got something to eat at Cheers. (Something decidely NOT on my diet, of course.) Later, FightingMensch came in. He waved to me from the end of the bar. I went over to say hello. He asked me what was new. What's new? Well, you guys know what's new if you've been reading this--two declarations of love in the past week from two withholding boys. I started to tell him the story (which of course included the prejudicial incident in which I had two men over at my house in the same night.) Bottom line--I was WAY too liberal with my information. IrishBird came over to try to "save me" from myself, I think, but it was too late. Oh well. What's the worst? FightingMensch already thinks I'm crazy. Now he'll just think I'm a "slut" too. Who gives a shit, right? (Well, I'm not that cool. I kind of do care what he thinks, but what's done is done...)

Soon enough, Bezoukhoff and I decided to head back to my place. I asked him to remind me to take my medicine (my blood-sugar stuff). He was shocked to see on the label that it says "Do Not Drink Alcoholic Beverages While Taking This Medicine." Whatever... I've been on that medicine for over a year now. I have my kidneys checked all the time, and I've always been okay. He had two Russian movies in tow--one about Moscow and the other, his beloved Schtirlitz. Unfortunately, neither film had subtitles, nor had they been dubbed into English.

"Um, Bezoukhoff, how am I supposed to understand what's going on then?"

"I shall translate for you, of course!" was the reply.

Bezoukhoff gives bus tours around the city and is forced to speak for hours on end. I couldn't imagine asking him to speak for two more hours just to translate a movie. It was a noble offer.

The movie ended up not really happening, though, because I was just too drunk. I was ready to pass out and go to sleep.

I feel SO bad that I got drunk for our hang-out. I mean, why oh why did I do that? We would have had so much of a better time if I hadn't been drinking. Plus I embarassed myself in front of FightingMensch.

This morning, I woke up at about 6:30 with no alarm. I had passed out early enough, that I guess my body got all the sleep it needed. I texted Bezoukhoff right away:

I feel like an idiot for how I behaved. SO STUPID! Forgive me? :-/ But thanks 4 my coin. I love it! Can we reschedule movie night? -H

He called me right back and said not to worry about it at all and that there is nothing to forgive. I felt guilty anyway. Bezoukhoff is just way too forgiving. (I guess I am too, though... it's one of the million things we have in common.)

Luckily, I was up early enough to write that quiz, take a shower and get ready for the day at a rather leisurly pace. I just got through teaching a little while ago. We just finished the Holocaust and are onto the Cold War. We're in the final stretch of the semester. After I get past WWII, it just seems as if everything is in a different place. I guess it was kind of like that in life too...

Well, that's it for now. I've got some paperwork to finish up here and then a voice lesson at 2:00. I desperately miss singing in a choir. I want to find one that meets over the summer. I need it spiritually, you know?

Oh yeah, and one last thing--I forgot to watch/tape Idol last night. Shit, shit shit! Now I'm debating whether I should try to find someone who taped it, or if I should just say "fuck it" and watch the results show without having seen the actual performances.

If anyone watched, want to tell me who was good and who was bad? (Not that it matters when I've lost my "dear" Constantine!)