The Dinner Party

First of all, I have to say-- I'm feeling MUCH better today than yesterday. I've said goodbye to Narc in my head (I hope) and actually managed to have a fun night last night.

Yesterday I was pretty miserable though. I felt awful, and sick while I was walking home from the library. But along the way a homeless man in a wheelchair rolled up next to me and asked me something.

"Huh? What?" I couldn't hear him with my headphones on. I lifted one off my ear.

"I just wanted to know what you were listening to. You look so intensely into it and seem to be enjoying it so much," he said.

"Oh, well it's Elvis!" I replied.

"Elvis? I'm not even a woman and I'm in love with Elvis!" he said.

"Everybody is!" I smiled. Then I continued on my way home, my day brightened just a bit.

I stopped in at Cheers, even though it was only 6:00 or so. The staff changes over at 7:00 there, so it was the day-shift people. (It's kind of sad how the transition from day to night is marked for me by the shift change at a bar!) Anyway, it was strange--first of all, I'm used to IrishBird and BarMan on Thursdays! Secondly, it was weird to be there for "happy hour." It's such a different crowd--full of suits! I had three glasses of Jack and headed home.

As you know, NextDoorNeighbor had invited me to a dinner party and I had asked Bezoukhoff to come along. The only problem is that I invited Bezoukhoff at such the last minute, that NextDoorNeighbor hadn't bought enough steaks. Since I was imposing the extra guest and he had to cook, I promised to pick up an extra pack at the supermarket. So after dropping off my books at home, I headed (drunk) up the street to the market. I bought steak and worcester sauce and then the little wheels in my head started spinning. Since the supermarket is right next door to Manchester... Well...

I had very little time to drink, but just wanted one more little splash of whiskey in which to drown Narc. Sean Duffy was working the bar. (If you recall, I had him to my house for "medicine" back on January 25th).

"Long time, no see, Hyde!"

"Hey, how have you been?"

I ordered a Jack Daniels.

"You know, Hyde--this is the first time I've ever seen you in here sober."

"You think I'm sober?" I winked at him.

"Well, you're not wasted. You know, the last two times you were in here, I had to have a customer walk you home."

"What? You did?"

"Yeah. I mean, I'll keep serving you, but you can't do that anymore, right?"

"Yeah, well I'm not doing it anymore, am I? I haven't been here in a while." (I was annoyed at his comment, but tried to swallow my irritation. He's probably right. But seriously--I think the last time I was there was March 10th. It's not like I'm in there causing a scene on a regular basis!)

Anyway, I downed my drink fast and scurried home to meet Bezoukhoff and to get to the dinner party.

It was great to see Bezoukhoff again. Last semester we used to hang out all the time because we had class together and he was just generally around at school. Now he's taking the semester off (and giving grayline bus tours around the city) so I hardly ever see him. He was so supportive of me back in December when things were rough, and I even saw him in January, but since then, it's been a few months... I finished putting on my makeup (I was blue yesterday--all blue because that was my mood. I even put in blue contacts), and we headed next door.

NextDoorNeighbor had invited another friend of his; I really liked her. She was funny and friendly and we got along really well. NextDoorNeighbor had been drinking beer while preparing the food, and was already really tipsy. I was definitely feeling the booze too after having had four Jack Daniels in just an hour and a half. Bezoukhoff and NextDoorNeighbor's friend soon caught up. We were downing wine like fish.

I had a great time at the dinner party. Bezoukhoff and NextDoorNeighbor bonded over Russia, and we all talked about relationships, politics, New York, school, work, anything and everything. We polished off two and a half bottles of wine and then NextDoorNeighbor brought out the hookah and some pot. We managed to get on the topic of Bill Clinton and I confessed my crush and that this summer I had waited on line for over six hours just to shake his hand and get his autograph. NextDoorNeighbor's friend said she knows someone who works in his office. (Lucky girl!) She asked me who else I have a "crush" on. Well, many of you know, this is one of my favorite topics and I have several major crushes. (I think you guys all know about my Kiefer crush, but there are a few more.) I told her my list--Elvis, Brando, Paul Newman, etc. She balked when I said Brando.

"You haven't seen young Brando then," I told her. "Like Streetcar Brando? Wild Ones Brando? C'mon!"

I hopped up to get my Brando coffee table book from my apartment. I also brought back my big Elvis photo book, my Clinton autograph and my Paul Newman autographed photo. She agreed--there's nothing like young Brando, but she was especially intrigued by Elvis.

"So what about Elvis?" she asked. "Why Elvis? I mean, he's hot and all, but what got you into it?" I gave her my spiel about Elvis as a tragic Greek hero; I told her of the Elvis who could have used me to save him... The sad Elvis who was never allowed to own his own life. I went on and on. When I was through she told me I had "converted" her and that she totally understands the whole Elvis thing now. Bezoukhoff told her that I had already converted him back in the summer. Yay!

She told me that she was starting to see a common thread in terms of my "type" but that she couldn't put her finger on it.

"I know exactly what it is," I told her. "I like the man-child type--narcissistic, a little bit of a bad boy, and totally needs to grow up. It doesn't have to be an extreme. They come in all different packages. Oh! And 'pouffies' under the eyes."

"What?"

"Bags under the eyes."

In the meanwhile, NextDoorNeighbor was getting really stoned. He was stoking hot charcoals on the pipe. He asked Bezoukhoff to hold something, and somehow the top of the pipe went flying. Basically, he asked Bezoukhoff in Russian, but as NextDoorNeighbor's Russian is imperfect, he said something like "other hand," and Bezoukhoff let go. The charcoals landed on the rug and all over the table. NextDoorNeighbor's friend ran to get a bowl of water, and I tried to pick the coals up with a pair of tongs. We managed to avert a major crisis, but NextDoorNeighbor is now stuck with two holes burnt into his carpet, and one big one on his table. Oh well... party-scars!

Somehow it came up that I'm a singer and NextDoorNeighbor's friend asked if I would sing something. (I think I was telling them the WallStreetGuy story). I invited them into my apartment, because I have all my opera karaoke tracks saved on my computer. I sang four or five arias and my voice was really full and resonating that night. I was grateful for it. I blew those songs right out of the water... glass-cracking time! Then I sang some Whitney Houston song. NextDoorNeighbor's friend couldn't stop raving. She said that I made her cry. I hope it wasn't just the alcohol and weed talking!

NextDoorNeighbor is allergic to my cat, though, so we couldn't stay for long. We went back to his place, and he really started to lose it. I mean, we were all howling with laughter at everything, but he put a pirate patch on his eye and started rolling around on the floor and stuff. I brought another bottle of wine back from my house and drank the thing down by myself--straight out of the bottle. NextDoorNeighbor and his friend were sharing a candy-apple on the floor.

We were all laughing so much and so hard, but it was clear that NextDoorNeighbor, at least, had progressed to the point of no return and probably had to turn in. Besides, all four of us had to wake up early for work the next day. Bezoukhoff and I said goodnight to them and decided to head to Cheers.

I was just wearing flip-flops, but I didn't care. When we got there, BarMan said hi to me, but BasketBallGirl came in shortly after and he went to talk to her at a table--it's some girl that he's dating, but they're still in the very early stages. Later I saw Lindsor (FightingMensch's ex girlfriend). She stopped to say hi as well, and asked me why I never called her after that one day we "bonded." (That was back on February 18th--the day before I got stood up for the opera!)

"I didn't think you really wanted me to call," I said. "I thought you were just being nice giving me your number, but that you didn't really want to be friends."

"Hello???" She waved her arms up in the air. (She was pretty smashed.) "You rejected me when you didn't call."

"Okay, okay!" I said. "I'll call you tomorrow."

At some point later in the evening, one of the FourthFloorGirls came by and sat down and chatted with me for a little while.

"MarriedGuy was here earlier," she told me. "Did you see him?"

"No, I don't really talk to him anymore," I said. "It was just this brief thing in the fall and then it turned weird."

After that, Bezoukhoff and I talked for a while. We have so much in common in terms of how we are oriented towards the world, and he has so much sympathy for my stupid mistakes. I always feel better when I'm talking to him, because I feel like no matter how much of a fuck up I am, he still thinks I have things together and that I'm great.

Anyway, we talked for a long time, but I fear that I was getting whiny and sad about the Narc thing and depressed that I'm never going to be happy. At around 1:30 or so, he walked me home. I must have slept for about 4-5 hours. Bezoukhoff called to wake me up this morning at 7:30. It was very sweet of him to remember! And a good thing, because I slept straight through my alarm! I rolled out of bed and came to teach. For my second teaching period I got reviewed. My observer already put the form in my mailbox. Wanna know what it said?

On Friday, April 1, 2005, I observed Professor Hyde's history 232 class. Her lecture was on the causes of World War I and World War I. Since the class only meets on Friday afternoons, Professor Hyde split the class into two sessions. The first session was dedicated to discussing the causes of the war and the second session on the war itself. It was very effective.

At the beginning of class, Professor Hyde put a list of vocabulary words from that lesson on the board. She then asked questions about her previous lectures and how they relate to her present lecture. It was quite effective and the majority of students participated (it was a small class), and a fairly lively discussion ensued. Professor Hyde has a good rapport with her students and they respond to that by actively participating in class discussions. It was an excellent class.

Yay! Remember back in the end of January when Narc told me to "skip class" (and come fuck him) because I "shouldn't be teaching anyway" because I'm an "unfit teacher?" Well, he can go fuck himself!

Right now, I'm in my office administering a makeup exam. Might meet up with NextDoorNeighbor later again tonight. Not totally sure of the evening's plans yet. I'm still heartbroken over Narc, but gaining a little perspective on it. Honestly, you guys--Most of all I just feel sorry for him. The worst punishment of all is the one that he already has-- a life without love. I just don't think he's capable of it.

-hyde-