Okay, I just got done teaching. The class went much better than I thought. I love when that happens! Just when I think everything is shit, I just get turned on by teaching and I get on a roll and it energizes me and everything feels better.
Speaking of feeling better, I really had been feeling better with my 11 days off alcohol and my two and a half months off "medicine." I felt better about myself, my work and my life in general. I didn't make any of the stupid phone calls (or send any of the lame texts) that leave me feeling embarassed and degraded the next day. And I didn't feel like a fuck-up. Hell, at times I felt downright happy!
I don't want to fuck everything up. I was feeling good doing my work. (And God knows, I have enough of it to do at this point in the semester!) Just because I screwed up a bit last night doesn't mean that I've ruined everything, right?
I'm going to start from scratch again right now. I'm going to have a good day today. I'm going to do this thing better. I'm tired of feeling like shit.
-resolute hyde-
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