The Weekend: My Party, Domestic Hyde and Constant Narc

Ugh! So the MTA is on strike!

This fucking sucks. I'm so pissed off about it, but I guess there's nothing I can do. I want to continue on writing about the weekend, but first, I have to tell you--I got a few strange calls yesterday--from whom? The Stallion! I finally picked up the third time he called me. It was about 2:00 am and we talked for around an hour. We ended up having phone sex and the whole conversation was not what I expected (it included some declarations of love from him), but I'll have to put that all in another post. For now, I'll return to Friday morning, waking up with the Narc...

On Friday morning, I awoke at noon, on just 6 hours of sleep (having been awake since 4:00 am the morning before!) I was desperately dreading the task ahead of me-- turning my chaotic hell-hole of an apartment into the beautiful charming space I knew it could be! I kissed the snoring Narc and told him I was running to Duane Reade. Then I ventured out into the cold to stock up on cleaning supplies. I also bought some Red Bull for Narc, some Sugar-Free Red Bull for me and some Wonton Soup.

Back at my place, the work began! I was on my hands and knees--scrubbing the toilet, scrubbing the shower, scrubbing the floors, scrubbing the kitchen, sweeping the pine needles, organizing, straightening and tossing things away. I worked madly for hours. Although I general despise cleaning, for some reason I didn't mind doing it all that much. Despite my exhaustion, I felt like I was doing something "cozy," especially with Narc asleep in just the other room. I tried not to think about our conversation from the previous night, and instead I focused on what I had to do.

At around 5:00 pm I went to check on Narc. He was still asleep. I crawled into bed next to him and gently tried to get his attention. He pulled me in so tightly to him, as if I were a teddy bear. (I love when he does that). Once or twice I tried to pull away-- to try to breathe, to readjust my position, but he clutched me even tighter and wouldn't let me go. Eventually, I managed to "wake him up" and after some time spent together, soon enough we were both out of bed. Narc stumbled into the bathroom to wash up and I began to straighten up my bedroom, which I had left untouched up to that point.

Later, Narc and I ordered a pizza. He walked downstairs with me to the lobby to pick it up and to pay. Then we sat down at my dining room table to eat. He was amazed at how clean it all was.
"Wow, Hyde! I've never seen your apartment look like this!"

It was strange to be eating with him face to face, sitting across the table. My Christmas tree was glowing and Mr. Rochester lay curled up nearby.

"This is weird, Narc," I said. "To be eating all civilized like this and not on the couch in front of the TV."

"I know," he laughed. "So, 'Honey, how was your day?'"

As soon as he said that, he seemed a little embarrassed. Neither of us could eat very much pizza because we had both fucked our stomachs up on hard liquor the night before. I jumped into the shower and Narc lay down on the couch to watch TV. When I got out of the shower, he looked depressed.

"What's wrong, Narc?" I asked.

"I don't know... Just feeling crappy," he said. "Maybe I need a nap."

"I don't think you need a nap," I said. "You just woke up. It's probably just that it was dark out when you got up."

He was coughing a little and said that his throat hurt, so I ran to get him a lozenge.

"Do you want any tea or anything?"

I wanted to mother him, but he didn't quite know how to take it as he was never even "mothered" by his own mother.

"You don't have to come with me to the supermarket if you don't want to," I said. "I mean, I'll need help carrying, but I can manage it without you if you need to rest."

"No, I'll come; I'll come..." he said, pulling himself up off the couch.

So, we were off...

Going to the supermarket with him was almost surreal. I pushed the cart through the aisles while he occasionally tossed things in. He decided we should buy candy canes, which I thought was cute. It felt really nice to do something so routine with him. I can't quite articulate the feeling, but it was one that I won't soon forget. We bought cookies, chips, pretzels, candy, beer, OJ, cranberry, cheese & crackers and a veggie platter along with 20 lbs of ice. Then it was on to the liquor store. We bought Jack, Sky vodka and some Malibu rum. I was already well stocked with wine at home and hoped that my guests would make up for whatever else was needed. I showed him the streetside vendor where I had bought my Christmas tree, and walking back to my house, Narc started singing that song "Last Christmas." I piped in and joined him. (Incidentally, when Narc had arrived on Thursday night he marveled over my tree! It made me very happy!)

Back at my place, Narc helped me set up all of the food and drinks for the party. It was really sweet. At around 8:30, my doorbell rang. It was NDN and Oc! Finally, I was starting to feel like I was in the party mood!

"There's something I wanted to ask your mom about when she gets here," NDN said.

"Wait-- your mom is coming?" Narc asked.

"Oh, yeah... Didn't I tell you?"

"No."

He looked really nervous.

Shortly after that, Hammer arrived as well. She and NDN ate the rest of our pizza while I started to get dressed. Narc said he still wasn't feeling well and rested up on the couch for a bit. Hammer borrowed a pair of my earrings and some lipstick. Finally the rest of the guests began to arrive. I wore a black skirt with a little sparkle in it, a black and silver lace shirt, bright red lipstick and a red satin ribbon. I also wore my velvet heels-- a full "party dress" outfit. My family arrived early. My stomach was turning with anxiety. My worlds were colliding, literally!!!


Too much went on at the party to detail it all here. It went by like a whirlwind. I was happy with the turnout. I had been worried that it would be over-crowded, but the size of the crowd felt just right.

I don't want to make it seem like I was super focused on Narc at the party. I wasn't. In fact, B told me that if he didn't know who Narc "was," that he wouldn't have known we were "together." But in any case, it was most interesting for me to watch him interact with my friends and loved ones. The day after the party, my mom called me and told me that she thought her chats with him were "interesting."

"Interesting? How so?" I asked.

"Well, we didn't talk much," she began, "and when we did talk, he didn't talk about himself; he didn't ask about me. He just said things to let me know how much he's in your life."

"What??? What do you mean?" (I was shocked.) "What are you talking about, mom?"

"Well, he said a few things-- first he told me that of all the many times he's been to your place, he's never seen it as clean as it was that night; so it was clear he's spent a lot of time there. Later, he made a comment about Roch and said that when he met you, Rochie was just a little kitten, but now he's so big."

"Really??? What else?"

"He told me that you were worried you guys didn't get enough food but that he had spent the afternoon with you and helped you set up. Almost as if he wanted me to know he was there with you all day."

"That's strange," I said. "I wouldn't have guessed that."

Anyway, I cut off the conversation shortly after that, as I don't like talking to my mom about my personal life. But, like I said-- I was shocked.

Anyway, back to my party and the Narc tension. I actually walked into a conversation in which my mom was asking Narc how we met.

"We just met at a random bar," he said.

"So! She met some of these people at Columbia, some of them at grad school, and you at a bar?" my mom repeated.

I shot her a look. Thanks a lot, mom.

The only thing that really upset me was that my friend, NV, overheard someone asking Narc, "How do you know Hyde?"

His answer? "We get drunk together."

It really hurt my feelings. It reminded me of the time that he told that woman over the summer who wanted to know if we were together that he "met me a year ago, and we've had a couple of one night stands" and that was it.

I tried not to let it get me down, although it really hurt my heart to hear that. A few people at the party started asking me to sing. I'm always shy about that stuff and didn't want to come across as "showing off" at my own party, so I kind of put it off. Eventually, though, enough people asked that I agreed. The crowd started to cheer "Hyde! Hyde! Hyde!" So I made my way over to my computer karaoke, grateful that I wasn't yet all that drunk, and poured out a few Puccini arias. Everyone cheered, and my mom (who hasn't really heard me in quite some time) was especially impressed. (She later told me that she was standing near Narc, and that he was really impressed too and made some kind of comment to her. Would you believe he had never really heard me sing before?)

It was nice to sing for everyone and to be so appreciated.

Hmm...What else happened that night? Anxious and BulgarianGuy showed up and were caught making out in the living room. Oc brought a gaggle of British friends, and the Wiz thought he saw a few of them sniffing coke in my kitchen, which prompted me to confront Oc about it. (That stuff just can NOT happen when my family is around!) I got to meet NV's new boyfriend who seems really sweet and is from Manila (like B). B came with his girlfriend who was apparently really jealous and intimidated by my singing. (I hate to be so petty and say it, but, I will... Yay!) I was very proud of Mr. Rochester who behaved very sweetly and did not get freaked out by the crowd. Hammer and BigSis shared a moment making fun of Anxious-- an interaction "enjoyed" by the Wiz. ;) Among the interesting guests? WelcomeToTheJungle-- a random girl I met at Cheers, Kandy--the girl I met at Cheers that took her clothes off at my house, and one of my students came! LW & AW were there mixing me shots the whole night long, a good crowd came from grad school, a whole bunch of my college friends, etc.

I got several beautiful gifts including an "energy tree" from Hammer made from amethyst and quartz (I LOVE amethyst!) and a 1913 Nicholas II coin from Bezoukhoff. The party started to wind down at around 2:00 am, and honestly, I was surprised-- my super-late-night bar crowd never showed up. It was all for the best, though, as Narc got pretty drunk and turned into "wanker-Narc." NDN lay passing out on my couch smoking my weed, my sister's friend English was quickly forging a strange friendship with WelcomeToTheJungle, and getting a little too "friendly" with LW, and I overheard Narc saying some nasty things to Bezoukhoff. I quickly went over to address it.

(As Bezoukhoff put it to me the next day--

"Hyde, when you get drunk, you call yourself shit. But Narc is an angry drunk. And when Narc gets drunk, he calls other people shit."

"Maybe that's why we get along so well," I replied.)

In any case, I wasn't happy with Narc calling Bezoukhoff "shit." They had started chatting about Bezoukhoff's infamous challenge to "duel" Narc. (For those of you who weren't reading my blog all the way back through last winter and spring, Bezoukhoff once expressed a very chivalrous wish to "duel" the Narc for my "honor." We laughed about it a lot. Later on, in May, I told Narc about the conversation). I introduced Narc to Bezoukhoff as "the duelist." Narc started up a conversation about the "Spanish Rapier" and apparently it turned belligerent. Narc was starting to slur his words and get aggressive. I tried to sit in on the conversation for a while and make him happy. Then we started kissing. That's when he told me to to give everyone "the boot" because he wanted to fuck me. I was a little drunk myself and thought it best to oblige.

After everyone had gone, we had amazing sex and Narc told me all over again (albeit in drunkenness) that he loves me. (Drunk sex with Narc is always especially nice because it breaks down all of his emotional walls.) It was strange, though. I kind of felt far away-- not especially at peace or in love. Whatever. We crashed into bed at around 5:00 am.

Narc was so drunk that in the middle of the night, he fell out of bed. It woke me up with a thud and I jumped up to help him. He was disoriented and wandered into the other room (for water, I presume). He shut the bedroom door behind him, and I could hear him banging around out there, unable to find his way back to the bedroom. I got up to guide him back. Then at around 9:00 am I woke up to a strange cell phone ring. It turns out that Hammer had left her phone at my place. I got out of bed to find it, and decided not to go back to bed. No matter how exhausted I was, my house was a wreck and needed tending to. There were multiple spilled drinks, crushed food on the floor and countless bottles laying everywhere.

So I set to it. I cleaned and I cleaned and I cleaned. And again, I felt happily domestic, knowing that Narc was asleep in my bed. At around noon, I gently tried to wake him to ask if he wanted me to go out and get him anything to eat.

"Just food,"he murmured, "and caffeine."

I decided to cook something, so I went to the market to get the ingredients to make a big tray of baked ziti. I also bought some Red Bull and smart water for Narc. Then I came home and cooked and cleaned some more. The Metropolitan Opera was being broadcast live over the radio-- a performance of Rigoletto. Despite my exhaustion, I couldn't have been happier.

At some point in the afternoon, NDN stopped by to use the microwave and hung out with me for a little while. As day passed into evening again, and Narc stayed asleep, I settled in on the living room couch, polished my nails and watched some Law & Order.

Finally, at around 5:30 pm, Narc awoke, as if from the dead. He joined me in the living room, I fed him, and we bummed around for a few hours, making up a game to keep ourselves amused--our own brand of entertainment (which again, I don't find appropriate to detail here!). We watched part of Dangerous Liaisons and cuddled for a long time. At around 10:00, Hammer called to say she was coming over to get her phone. She arrived shortly thereafter.

"So this is what a Narc/Hyde hangout is like!" she said.

I thought it was funny.

We gossiped a little bit about some of our classmates. At one point Hammer was telling a story and I was afraid that she was going to slip up and give away a link to my blog.

"Wait! Don't!" I exclaimed.

It was an awkward moment for me. I know Narc thinks that I have secrets I'm keeping from him. Soon, the Wizard came over as well. The four of us hung out, catching the ending of Four Weddings and a Funeral on TV. It was strange. It felt like a double date, with Narc cuddling me on the couch. I served the remaining ziti to Hammer and the Wizard, to which the Wizard proclaimed that I am truly "marriage material!" (Ha!)

The Narc wanted to get out of the house, as he hadn't seen sunlight in several days. He asked if I wanted to go to The Patriot with him, enticing me with promises of a "lavender bath" (which never happened as we were too tired). I agreed. We left my place at around 1:00 am, sharing a cab downtown with Hammer and the Wizard.

When we arrived, the Patriot was super crowded.

(I took a picture of it the next morning when I was getting a cab. There it is, to the left!)

We were feeling mellow and not up for that, so we tried a place around the block-- the Raccoon Lodge, instead. Narc really wasn't feeling well. He asked if I wouldn't mind leaving after just one drink. I agreed, and we went back to his apartment.

His feet were cold and I tried to make him feel better by rubbing them. I was dead tired, though, and passed out on his couch by 2:00 am.

"Do you want to move into the bedroom?" he asked, as I drifted off to sleep.

"No. I want to stay here with you. Just wake me to move me when you go."

"Okay."

He did just that. I think he moved me at around 4:00 am or so.

The next morning, I overslept, waking up at around 12:00. I woke Narc up at 1:00, not wanting him to miss another day of sunlight. I felt very close to him, wanting to nurture him and take care of him. I ordered lunch for us and gave him some medicine. He said he was still feeling depressed and run down.

"I'm dying, Hyde! I 'm dying!" he said.

"Oh, Narc! You're not dying."

"Maybe I'm already dead."

"What? And I'm talking to a ghost?"

"How do you know it's not true?" he asked.

"So I'm in a ghost's apartment in Tribeca?"

He laughed. I would have stayed with him all day if I could have, but I had plans to meet B on the Upper West Side at 3:30.

Narc wasn't happy that I was leaving. At around the time I had to go, he got up and went to his bedroom, ignoring me as he surfed online.

"I have to get going soon, Narc," I said.

"Well, yeah..."

I went over to him.

"When am I going to get to see you before Christmas? I still have to give you your present," I said. "And I'm going to be on Long Island from Friday on."

"I'm sure I'll see you before that," he answered. "Besides, I still have to get you presents... for your birthday and for Christmas. I know what I want to get you for one of them, but not the other."

(What?!?! That was news to me! I had no idea he planned on getting me anything!)

"Okay. Well, can I get a hug before I go?"

There was a tension in the air.

"Yeah, sure..." He swiveled in his chair to face me. I leaned down to give him a hug.

"Okay, well, bye..."

As for the rest of Sunday--my afternoon with B, I'd rather save that for another post. We went to a gorgeous "Lessons & Carols" service at a Lutheran church, during which I had a sort of transcendent experience and spiritual revelation. I need to think about it more before I post about it here.

But that was my weekend with Narc. Later on Sunday night, he texted me:
Geisha was so so.

So I wrote back:
Heard it got mixed reviews. Glad you got out. :) Loved the church thing. Was gorgeous candlelight & I had a really elevated spiritual moment. You feeling better?

He never wrote back to that, but I guess it's typical...

Anyway, that's it for now. Why do I feel like I'm stuck playing blogger catch-up this week? I've got to go take a shower... And then address some school work.

:)

h