California: Part I

So much to say! It seems like forever since I've blogged. I had a great time in California, but I'm glad to be back in New York. My first night back, I had a little Narc drama, but that all worked out okay. (I'll write about that later). Last night I hung out with B. As such, I haven't really had the time to sit down and process the week to blog, but I'm going to try to get at least some of it out this morning.

I was in California for the wedding of a childhood friend. It left me with a mix of strange feelings, but it's hard to explain what this past week was about without a little background about my childhood. So here it goes...

I was born in NJ and grew up in a rural suburb--a beautiful place on the edge of a forest sitting on a lake. About an hour or so northwest of New York City, it's the last town before it all turns to farmland. My mom was a city girl, but my parents moved out there because it was easier for my dad to open a store (so my mom says). Anyway, I lived there for the first seven years of my life. I'm sure that I've mentioned that my dad was an alcoholic. Well, things got pretty bad. So bad, in fact, that my mom packed us all up one day and "ran away" to Long Island where her family lived. That's where we been ever since, (or at least until I moved to Manhattan for college).

Those first seven years of my life feel like a dream to me. Sometimes I wonder if they ever happened at all. In NJ we lived next door to a family of blondes. Those kids were the tallest, palest and blondest people you can imagine--two girls (HW & KW) and three boys (CW, AW & LW). We were best friends from the moment we met (I believe I was only three months old at the time), and we used to always try to trick people into believing we were siblings. (My sisters and I are all dark-haired and dark-eyed, and no one every really bought it). We were a creative bunch and used to play for endless stretches of time--taking magical train rides to nowhere, dressing like punk-rockers, making music videos, painting shells, coloring for hours, crushing perfumes from freshly picked flowers, doing "rain-dances" and generally getting lost in imagined endless possibility. BigSis, HW and KW used to stage fake weddings, marrying me off to CW and marrying LilSis to whichever of the twins (AW & LW) were around.

Although we left that place just about twenty years ago now, we've always stayed in touch with the W family. I wouldn't say that we're all still "friends" in the sense that I'd call them to gossip about day to day life, but they certainly are "family." I'll always love them and they'll always be around somewhere on the edges of my life. The girls are now 32 and 30; CW is 26 and the twins are 23.

Over the years, their family (as well as mine) has changed a lot. CW got into drugs and hard-core partying in college and dragged the twins into it with him. HW (the eldest girl) also started drinking heavily and at this point is an alcoholic. I haven't hung out with CW in a while (he seems to have calmed down from the height of his partying phase) but the twins are alcoholics also. Now, you guys know I like to drink and party my fair share, so when I say these people have a problem, they really have a problem.

All of it got much worse a few years ago when their father passed away unexpectedly from a sudden heart-attack. Their dad had a huge booming personality that held the family together, and none of them have been the same since. It makes me sick to my stomach to think back on all of us in that dreamworld of so long ago, and all of have since lost a father.

Anyway, KW has always been a little different. She's a drifter and has lived in countless cities. As a trained midwife, she did the Peace Corps in Nepal for a while. Most recently she's settled in San Francisco and it was her wedding we were there to attend. BigSis, LilSis and I were all asked to be bridesmaids.

So that's the the background. Now, on to my trip to the Golden State! I'm so used to writing in so much detail that looking back over the past week, I'm not sure where to start. I thought California was beautiful and I was especially grateful to get out of NY the week that it was in the upper 90's here!

August 3rd:

I woke up at 5:30 in the morning in order to get to the airport for an early morning flight. It sucked! Once there, I met my mom and LilSis. BigSis and Bro-in-Law were also going to the wedding, but had left a few days earlier to turn their trip into more of a "vacation." (My stepfather still won't travel, or leave my stepbrother's side). The flight over there wasn't too bad. We flew JetBlue, so we got those little personal TV sets on the back of our seats. I caught the end of a Paul Newman movie, and then they showed Carousel, so I was a very happy girl!

Once we got to San Francisco, the first thing I noticed was the weather. I loved the cooler temperatures. Perfect! We found our hotel in the downtown area and ate lunch in a nearby restaurant. Then my mom, LilSis and I set off for Chinatown. We were all exhuasted, but walked around for a while taking it all in. Before long, it was time to meet the W family for dinner. We made our way over to a family-style Italian restaurant for the reunion. In typical fashion, HW, AW & LW were all drinking at the restaurant bar while waiting for everyone to arrive. KW was entertaining her future in-laws and trying to get us a table. (CW didn't come for the wedding. His wife is about to have a baby and he didn't want to leave her, or so he says. I think it has more to do with the fact that his wife doesn't get along with KW, but that's a whole other story).

The restaurant had a very strange decor--I guess you could call it "religious kitsch." In the center of our table there was a huge plastic bust of the pope. (LilSis took a picture, so if I can get it from her, I'll post it). My mom loves to get attention, and she kept making jokes, telling us all that we had to play "spin the pope." Whomever the pope faced at end of the spin had to confess something. As we didn't really know the groom's family, and I wasn't sure how they would take to her humor, I thought it was a little inappropriate. That's my mom for you, though!

Soon enough, BigSis and Bro-in-Law arrived at the restaurant, and we all ate. AW & LW wanted to go out partying later that night, and they kept pressing us to go with them. Not only was I tired from the flight, but I knew that my mom really would have been uncomfortable with that, and as we were sharing a hotel room, I kept trying to put them off. It was hard though. I'm always "Jekyll" with my family, and I felt really stressed about it. I don't know why, but it was a "Jekyll & Hyde" tension thing.

The restaurant was right near the IMAX theater so instead of going out to "party," the whole group took at trip to the movies instead. We saw the new Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. It certainly didn't rival the original, but it was still entertaining enough. (My favorite moment? The oompa-loompa dressed up like Freud, powdered nose and all!)

August 4th:

The next day we planned to go up to Fisherman's Wharf. None of us had packed for the chilly weather, so mom, LilSis and I took a trip to Old Navy that morning to buy sweatshirts and long-sleeved shirts to layer with. At the Wharf, we met BigSis and Bro-in-Law. We tried to get tickets to tour Alcatrez, but the tours were all sold out. Instead, we took one of those tour boats around the bay. It was absolutely beautiful, but I was a little disappointed that the bridge was obscured by the fog. My sisters and Bro-in-Law were cranky about the cold and went to sit on the inside of the boat. I loved it though. I miss the feeling of cold bringing blood into the cheeks, and I sat with my face in the wind, letting my hair whip all about.

After the boat ride, we ate lunch at the wharf and then just walked around for a while. We didn't have much time to see the city, so my mom suggested we take one of those trolley tours to get a glimpse of some of the different neighborhoods. My favorite part--getting to see the gorgeous Victorian architecture. I also loved the Palace of Fine Arts (built for the Panama Pacific Exhibition of 1915).

I started to get pensive about half way through the ride and didn't really feel like talking to anyone. I couldn't stop thinking about Narc, and for some reason, I felt really anxious. My stomach was turning over and over, and I was just nervous and sad at the same time. Thankfully, it passed soon enough, and we headed to BigSis and Bro-in-Law's hotel, eating dinner at a nearby Italian restaurant. Finally, back at our own hotel, LilSis and I did our nails for the wedding and went to bed early.

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That's all I have time to post right now. I've got to hop in the shower before therapy, so I'll finish this later.

TO BE CONTINUED...