Narc on Narc's Terms

Ah ha! After this, I'll be all caught up with my blogging. What a relief!

When I left you all, I was recovering from the red-eye, napping all day on Tuesday afternoon. I didn't plan to stay out late that night. Dan asked me to a movie, but I wasn't feeling up to it. I really just wanted to hang out at home, do something low-key and then go to bed. But after Narc texted me that he might want to hang out later, I couldn't get the thought out of my head. Trying to be prudent, I wrote him back:

Sure. I'm around tonight, but can't stay up super late b/c I took the red-eye last night. So give me a call later...

That was that. All I could do after that was wait to hear from him.

At around 8:00 I showered and changed into something nice. I talked to Hammer on the phone for a little while, but I still needed to eat dinner and hadn't been to Cheers in a week and a half, so I decided to eat over there. It was nice to be back. I hung out with IrishBird and started to drink. The Hungarian waitress was working and it was her birthday. (I'm not sure if I've ever mentioned her here before or not, but she's a really sweet girl). I wished her a happy birthday and offered to buy her a drink, but she said she had to wait until 11:00 when she got off work.

It was a strange night at Cheers. Well, maybe no stranger than usual, but strange nonetheless. A man named Andrew came in and gave me five roses. Why? I don't know. Maybe he had to get rid of them and I was a girl sitting alone. In any event, I thanked him kindly and that was it.

I waited and I waited and I waited for Narc to call. He never did. I spoke to Hammer on the phone and she told me not to freak out before midnight. (After all, our earlier text exchange had only been at 6:00). But I was getting tired and I was getting drunk. I decided to send him another text:

Hey, Just wanted to let you now-- Going to bed around 12:30/1:00 if I don't hear from you...

Then I waited some more. I waited and waited and still didn't hear from him. I still anticipated a call though. Suddenly I remembered--I had therapy scheduled for Wednesday morning and wanted to cancel. I left my stuff at the bar and dashed home to send my therapist a last minute email. I was singing to myself in the elevator--loudly enough that I guess NDN heard me, for when I reached my door, his swung open. NDN followed me into my apartment and we gossiped for a little while I wrote the email. He had some question for me about our upcoming trip to Argentina. We talked for a while, and then, I don't know why, but I went in the bathroom and did a few lines. After that, I was swinging. I realized it was after 11:00 so I called over to the bar. PumpedUp picked up the phone.

"PumpedUp?"

"Yeah?"

"Hey, this is Hyde. Can I talk to IrishBird for a sec?"

He laughed that I was calling.

When she got on the phone, I reminded her to buy the Hungarian waitress a drink from me.

"Hyde, you're a sweetheart!" she exclaimed.

After that, I ran back over to the bar. One of the bus boys who works there always smiles at me, so I always smile back. I mean, I pracitcally live at the place, so even though we haven't really talked, I feel like I know him. One time I bumped into him coming out of Duane Reade and we said hello. Back in July I was really drunk once and he came over to talk to me. (The night of the "Super Slip-Up.") He told me that I was a "very pretty girl." Anyway, this night, he came out to do something (like pour ice behind the bar or something) and the Hungarian waitress and IrishBird told me that he "likes me." (It was kind of 4th -grade of them, and I felt embarassed for him.) I didn't really say anything. I just smiled. When he went back into the kitchen, I asked them what he had said.

"Oh, just that he likes you," said IrishBird.

"And he asked what you're always writing," the Hungarian waitress piped in. "I told him that it's your studies."

"My studies? No, this is just my journal...my diary!" (I'm always scribbling something).

The whole thing was very flattering (if not a bit awkward). Where was Narc though? I waited and waited and waited. (And drank and drank and drank). Shortly before 1:00 am I got two texts from Dan. I must have been pretty far gone by then, because I don't remember getting the texts. I only saw them again in the morning. Cheers was closing at around 1:00. I have a sketchy memory of paying the bill. And then nothing.

NOTHING.

The next thing I knew, I opened my eyes with a headache. Where was I? Huh? I was on the floor of my bathroom with the door closed behind me. I reached up over my head to turn the knob. It was locked. Huh? I never lock the bathroom door. Hell! Half the time I don't even close it! (Yes, I live alone!) What time was it? I pulled myself up off the floor and stumbled into the kitchen. It was 7:00 am. My cell phone was plugged into the charger. There were a million missed calls from Narc. I went to check my land-line answering machine. About four messages from him. (I'm transcribing them here, because I'm obsessive and want them for my own "records.")

Home Phone: Hey Hyde, it's Narc. I just tried your cell phone, and now I'm trying your land-line. I just arrived at my own pad here. It's about, well let me look... 2:45? 2:47, actually. 2:47 in the morning. And um, I don't know. I just um... I just wanted to talk to you and see how you're doing. So, um... Give me a call back when you get this. I'm going to sit up for a little bit longer. Alright. Bye.

Cell Phone: Well, gosh Hyde. I don't know if you're gonna pick this up on your phone, but uh... Give a little listen. A little listen. (Then he played me the introduction to "Father Figure" The message is somewhat unclear here). It's all very funny. Yeah, yeah, well... you now how it goes. That's a little "Father Figure" for ya. Anyway... Where the fuck ARE you? Where the FUCK are you? I'm listing to my Everything but the Girl credits song here and I'm just flopping around. And, um, yeah... Where ARE you? Alright, I'll try your home phone and then I'm gonna give up. Alright. Bye.

Home Phone: Hey Hyde, it's Narc. I'm calling your landline. I'm back at home. I just arrived in, and uh... I left an outrageous message on your cellphone just a second ago because I'm pacing about here and I'm wondering where YOU are. But, I guess you're out. You're probably at Cheers getting hammered or what not. Um, alright. Well, call me on my land or cell. Whatever you like. We'll figure it out. I'm going to sit here and smoke it away. Alright. I hope you had a great time in California. Talk to you soon. Bye.

Home Phone: Hyde, GET UP! It's 3:00. It's Narc. GET UP!!! Get your ass up out of bed!!!! Oh my God. I blew everyone off, and I'm like, "where's Hyde?" But, I guess you're asleep. I'm a little worried. I mean, I don't know. I'm up. I'm up. It's 3:00 am and I'm up. So I'm probably going to hang out for a little bit, a little half hour or so and then I'll probably crash out. So um, either call me in a little bit, or um... We'll figure it out eventually. Alright, H-- bye. Good luck. Bye.

Home Phone: Hyde, what a lame outgoing message! You MUST spice up your outgoing message. Anyway, it's Narc. It's about 4:30. I've just been sitting around for the past two hours or so. Hearing some music and just sitting around and um, drinking my wine and smoking cigarettes. I don't know... Yeah, blah...whatever. I mean, obviously you have your phone off and um, you are napping right now. But uh, I'm gonna go to bed in just a little sec. But um, I will keep my cell phone next to me and you should call me when you get up. Because, I DO want to see you. I'm just... I don't know. Sitting around here and doing my thing. My monkish thing. But uh... Wish you were here. But, well... you're out. Anyway, give me a call as soon as you get up. Alright. Bye.

So, I did as I was told, and I called him at home. He didn't pick up. I was sure he was passed out. I don't remember exactly what I said. Something to the effect of:

Hey Narc, it's me. Just got up, calling you back. If you still wanna see me, let me know.

Sure enough, he called me back a few minutes later.

"I can't believe you're up!" I said.

"I'm not, but I want you here."

"I'm not really up either," I told him. (I was about to make the great migration from bathroom floor to bed). "Do you want me to come now?"

"Yeah."

"Alright. Give me a half hour to get there."

I grabbed my purse along with the bottle of wine I bought him in Napa and stumbled to the lobby, not even bothering to check myself first. It was okay, though. I had the cab ride to fix my makeup. I was still in a daze. Damn! Whatever it was, I needed to sleep it off!

When I got there, the doorman waved me up. Narc looked bleary and rumpled when he answered the door. He was in his underwear.

"Here's your wine," I said, brushing past him to put it in the fridge.

"Thanks."

Neither of us said a word after that. We just took everything off and crawled into bed. He pulled me into him as he's prone to do--again, hugging me so tightly it was hard to breathe. We were completely tangled up together. I let myself relax and we both fell fast asleep.

When I opened my eyes again, it was 2:00 pm. (I love waking up with him!). I woke him up and we stayed in bed until past 4:00 pm. (It was exceptional, might I add! Uh oh... Now I'm distracted. Anyway, moving on... ) Once we were ready to get out of bed, he had to deal with some business.

"Was I dreaming, or did we get a call about my tour?" he asked.

"I don't think you were dreaming. I thought I heard the machine go off too."

Narc called back the travel agent. Indeed there was a problem. Suffice it to say, he's now leaving on September 6th instead of August 28th and will be away for four weeks instead of six. Narc browsed the internet for a while and read me anything interesting that he found (as is his morning habit). He told me about some strange ad he had seen in the New Yorker. A woman posted an ad looking for the "perfect man." He was curious, so he went to the website where he found an enormous survey. He filled out the survey half as a joke.

"I bet it's some kind of screening process for reality TV," he said. "It just doesn't seem like a real woman did that."

I laughed.

"I can't believe you took the time to fill all of it out!" I said.

I asked him what he had been doing the night before.

"How was your meeting?"

"Oh, that didn't end up happening."

"So what did you do?"

"I just ended up hanging out at Bar and Books with CouchSleeper and Robin," he said. "Then Robin and I came back here and did some blow until she realized she had to work the next day. She bolted at around 2:00."

"Oh."

Then I got up and started to dress. I told him I had to leave by 5:30 or 6:00.

"Why? Where are you going?"

"Oh, I have plans tonight."

"With whom?"

"B."

"Oh."

He looked a little disappointed. I know if I had stayed there it would have turned into a two-night sleepover. Don't get me wrong--I LOVE my nights with B, but damn it!!!

"What are you up to tonight?" I asked.

"Just chillin' here, I guess," he said.

We moved into the living room. I was dressed and Narc was still naked. He ordered some Chinese takeout and flipped channels. The beginning of Troy was on HBO. Before long, Narc and I were at it again, this time without much time to spare. It was all perfect though.

At 6:00 on the dot, I got up to go. Narc got up to walk me to the door. He gave me a hug and a kiss.

"Have fun with B," he half laughed.

"I will."

I hated leaving. It ALWAYS feels awkward when I leave. But I had to go.

I met B in front of my building at 6:30 and we walked up to get some dinner (I hadn't really eaten at Narc's). It was so good to see B after the week away and we just gossiped and caught up. He met his girlfriend's parents for the first time, so I wanted to hear all about that. Also, he's having some issues with his orals committee at school, and needed some comfort. For my part, I was being a little obsessive and had to run all of the Narc bullshit by him.

After dinner we proceeded back to my place and hung out and watched TV. He was exhausted by 11:00 and wanted to turn in, but I just wasn't tired, and I felt really anxious. I begged him to stay up with me for another hour. He compromised with a half hour. We retired into my room, flicked on the Daily Show and I tried to fall asleep.

B moved into the living room and I was finally starting to fall asleep around midnight when my cell phone rang. It was Narc.

"Hey, Hyde. What are you up to?"

"Falling asleep, actually," I said.

"Oh. Then I won't keep you." (He sounded disappointed.)

"What's up?"

"I just had to share this with someone!" he said.

"What?"

"Remember I told you I filled out that woman's 'perfect man' survey?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, she wrote back to me! I can't believe she wrote back."

"Narc, that's crazy! What did she say?"

"Just that my response was beautifully written and that she hasn't gotten many others... I don't know. It was like a 10 page reply."

"Wow."

"Well, anyway, I don't want to keep you if you're sleeping."

"Okay."

"Goodnight, then."

"Goodnight."

I tossed and turned for another hour or two after that, but eventually got some sleep.

Today I sent him a text in the afternoon, but he never wrote back. This is all the same old, same old. Narc on Narc's terms. I guess if I want him, that's how I'll have to accept him. I'm feeling a little weary though.

Tonight NDN is throwing a little dinner party at a Korean restaurant. I'm very much looking forward to it. Oc will be there, whom I haven't seen in a while. (As a side note, Oc actually called me on Sunday night--2:30 in the morning NY time. He wanted to hang out, knowing that I'm always up late, but I was in CA, wearing a mudmask and watching TV with my mom and younger sister!)

Well, that's all for now. This Narc thing will be the death of me. I love him and he tortures me.

UGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

("Maybe you love him because he tortures you?" B suggested. No comment!)