Friends and Family

Okay, well I totally reek of whisky and my head is pounding, but that's all my own fault due to last night. At least there was no drunk dialing! (I did get a call and a text from the Stallion last night, so that's something!)

Anyway, let's pick up where we left off...

When I woke up Saturday morning my doorbell was ringing. Yes, it was NDN. I opened my door and a bowl/cup of mate was thrust into my hand. I did my best to drink it down and make myself presentable on virtually no sleep. It was about 8:00 am. As soon as possible, I joined NDN and Oc at the elevators. NDN dubbed us his "summer crew." Cute. His mom pulled the car up to our building and we all set off for Connecticut. Oc pulled the tape out of his camera from the previous night and handed it to me because I was concerned about having done my "medicine" the night before in near proximity to the camera.

I got to know NDN's mom on the car ride up, but felt like I was barely myself for the lack of sleep and the hangover. It was good for the soul to get out to the country though. The sky was blue and the clouds were beautiful. We lay out by a beautiful pool and it was just perfect (except for the dead frog in the water!). I played some piano. It was nice to play an open piano for once. NDN wanted to make some BBQ, so we set off for the supermarket. Once there, NDN was very efficient. He and Oc and I stole a few bites from the salad bar. (We were hungry!) We also ate some stale pretzels. Then, it was back to his house.

NDN's mom showed us how to light the grill. We had to go in the crawl space underneath the deck and the rocks hurt our feet. I felt like the Little Mermaid walking on glass. NDN prepared a shitload of food--grilled beef, ribs, chicken, hot dogs, garlic bread and corn on the cob. He and I were fooling around and he sent a funny text to FourteenthFloorBoy (I'll die if ever it gets connected back to me!)

He wrote:
Heard you have a big load.

FourteenthFloorBoy actually wrote back!:
Don't recognize this number, but yes, I do.

We were rolling in laughter. (And yes, he REALLY does.)

Later, I drank a bottle of wine. It was great getting to know Oc. We talked for a while about what I'm studying at school, and then just about life in general. NDN and I have bonded so quickly over the past few months that I totally trust his friends to be good people too. It was nice.

The two of them were staying overnight, but I couldn't as I had plans to meet B. Instead, I called a cab to take me back to the train station. Sunshine called me just before I got on the train and we talked for a good 40 minutes until my cell phone battery died. Then I crashed and slept. I felt like shit and looked really haggard.

In Grand Central on the way home I stopped over at the Godiva store to buy the Colombian bartender a little birthday present. Then I stopped at Cheers to drop it off on my way home. BarMan was behind the bar.

"Hi, Hyde," he said sympathetically. "Are you okay?" He looked at me with pity in my dark shades.

(Fuck that.)

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just wanted to drop this off," I said.

"You should come back and party with us tonight," he smiled at me.

"Yeah, we'll see... Probably not. I have plans."

"With Narc?" He raised his eyebrows in disapproval.

"No, with B."

"So, B is back? What? Has it been a month already?"

"Just about. Look, I'll see you later..."

I didn't want anyone's pity despite the bruise. I went back to my place and waited for B to call. He did and told me to meet him at the Chinese place across the street.

As I approached the restaurant, I caught a glimpse of him through the window. It was surreal. I feel as if I've changed SO much since he left, and it made me feel guilty for some reason. I know it's not rational, but it's true. I'm not the same girl that he left here. He was shocked at how weary I looked, but there's nothing like that first hug that he gave me. I just felt like I was "home" when he hugged me. I missed him SO.

We had a nice night together...cozy. I still felt strange though--like I had somehow betryayed him in his absence. It makes no sense, but I couldn't shake it. We just sat and talked and listened to beautiful choral music and then went to bed early. I was knocked out only half an hour into SNL!

The next morning B had to take off for church and I had to head to Long Island for Father's Day. On the way to the train station, I texted Narc to find out how his hangliding went. I expected a call or text back, but for the rest of the afternoon, it was not forthcoming. I met BigSis and Bro-in-Law at the train station and we rode out there together. I felt guilty seeing them--guilty seeing all of my family, in fact. We're all supposedly so close, but no one has a fucking clue what is going on with me. It was totally a Jekyll afternoon, and I guess I'm just so used to being Hyde these days.

My stepfather picked us up and took us to the hospital to see my brother. I haven't updated you guys on him in a while. He's making amazing progress. He just got the surgery two days ago to replace that piece of his skull, and he's talking more and more. He can play some simple card games and even poker, and his personality is coming back. He smiles a lot. The doctors were so fucking wrong about him. It scares me to death that they wanted to let him go the night of the accident. It really is a miracle.

We all hung out there for the rest of the afternoon, joined by my mom, LilSis and JBC and my two stepsisters. After a few hours, we had to take off for a different hospital to visit my grandpa who just had some kind of gallblader surgery. For an 87 year old, he looked pretty fucking good coming out of surgery. My aunt and uncle were there, and my aunt kind of suckered me into agreeing to go to my cousin's high school graduation next week, even though it's really inconvenient.

"You know you're her favorite," she said.

Everyone knows that I can't say no.

After that, I asked LilSis and JBC to drop me off at the train early. JBC noticed my face, and I told him that I was just tired--must be dark circles. They left me at the station at 6:00 and I had to wait there until the next train arrived at 6:45. I was feeling so fucking depressed. I just sat there listening to my Eartha Kitt CD and feeling blue. I texted B telling him so. I was miserable that Narc never wrote me back. B called while I was waiting for the train and we got into a Narc-discussion in which he told me to stop hanging my well-being on the whims of a crazy motherfucker. He's right. (Things got even crazier with Narc later, which I still have to post about.) I think I was also depressed because father's day makes me think of my dad and it's always a little bit hard.

When I got home I made some pasta and settled in to watch the Simpsons and Family Guy. I was all set to spend the night at home (I was exhausted and needed it!) when I got a text from Narc.

He said:
Martini and reading at Le Zinc if you want to come down. Duane bw Church and W. Broadway.

I didn't write him back right away, but waited an hour or so. Then I said:
Will be back in the city at 10:00. Will give call then.

Of course, I called. Of course, I went. But as for my evening with Narc, you'll have to wait for the next post. It doesn't end well though (if you couldn't tell from last night's drunken post). I'm so fucking tired and need to go take a shower before therapy. Going to see Batman Begins with B this afternoon. We're going to see it on the IMAX screen. It should be cool...

later....

-h