Huzzah! The heat is leaving us! Both yesterday and today have been crisp, breezy, fall days-- not quite as chilly as I like them, but wonderful nonetheless. The sky is bright blue and my makeup, for once, is not melting off my face. Now that we're past Labor Day, I can wear black lace and Victorian necklines once again. I can bust out my mid-calf tattering Doc Martins. And perhaps, one day soon, it will be time for my coveted blue hooded sweatshirt!
Yesterday was a long day. I saw the Illusionist with B, which was an odd movie. I texted Narc for no reason and he wrote back to me at 2:00 in the afternoon that he had just woken up. I replied to him, but it ended there.
Brick told me that he and OlderMan are done for and he came over to my place last night for a friendly shoulder.
I heard some other sad news yesterday-- that Senegal, my friend from outpatient, relapsed last week. I'm thinking of doing a count on how many people have relapsed so far. It's fucking unbelievable. Anyway, I suppose I should focus on the fact that I haven't...
I had a crazy sexual dream about submitting to God. I'm debating whether or not to post it here.
Anyway, I'm off to teach now... something about Classical Greece. So I'll have to update you more later.
love,
h
8 comments:
Yeah, it really doesn't matter how many other's have relapsed...it's that you haven't that counts.
I'm glad it's cooler there...and that it's gotten warmer again here.
Most treatment centres have a high relapse rate....The method with the most success is 90 days and ninety meetings.
The fact that you are still clean and sober is because you are putting forth an imense effort. You are an inspiration to newcomers.
I send you a huge hug and a wopping great big kiss......
only the strong survive....
YES, it is getting cool. Last night I was legitimately cold standing outside despite wearing "the Duster." And The Illusionist was a very strange movie. Well acted but I think the ending made the entire plot collapse unto itself. >_<
Sexual dream about God? Was God a Man or a Woman?
Ah yes, crisp mornings, I'm loving it here, so nice and not disgusting to walk outside and get all sweaty.
Sad for Brick being sad, and for the relapse. :(
I think I may actually start up a blog so's I don't have to go by Anonymous anymore.
Watch the people who relapse, and those you think that will, because that will (hopefully) make you stronger in your resolution to not drink. :)
:)
Anonymous-- you don't have to have a blog to sign in with a name! You can sign in under "other." That said, I would love if you started a blog.
Thanks to everyone for all the encouragement.
And Mystic, thanks for the kiss...
-h-
PS: Dan-- I'm still debating whether or not to write about the dream, as it may be offensive to some. But God was definitely a man.
h
Not everyone makes it in AA right away, and many don't make it back. There have been a lot of deaths in this area lately, people who have relapsed and had an accident or an overdose. It's scary when people go back out, and I hope I'm never one of them. As you say, you have to keep the focus on your own sobriety, working your own program, and not get caught up in the romantic notion that things might be better out there now. They won't. Alcoholism is progressive and it will pick up where it left off. You're amazing. I know it's hard but if you keep working at it, things do get better, easier. *hug*
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