(AND DR. JEKYLL WHEN SANITY PREVAILS... a fictional account with a "reasonable expectation of privacy")
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
Afraid
I'm feeling really fucked up. Like I can't do this anymore. And I feel completely alone. That voice in my head is really strong... the one that says "fuck it." And I can't get it to shut up.
Did you really work so hard and come so far to give up now?
I'm going to say something to you and it might sound harsh, but I truly don't mean it to be. It has been said to me more than once! And that is:
The only thing you get from sitting on the Pity Pot is a ring around your ass.
If you don't like the way things are, then change them. Don't sit in your apartment dwelling on things. That only increases fears, self-doubts and depression. No more group sessions? There are literally hundreds of meetings in NY. Go to more of them, explore until you find groups you are comfortable with and share what you're going through. Getting a sponsor would be a great idea, too. I guarantee you're not as alone as you feel. Brick is busy and wants to do some things on his own? You have other friends. Call them, do something with someone else. As close as you and Brick are, you both still need to have lives of your own. That doesn't mean you care for each other less, but rather allows you both to bring more to your friendship when you're together.
Narc is an ass, and should not be the mirror by which you judge your worth. You bring laughter and joy to those who know you, and your singing obviously touches many people. You're interesting and intelligent with so much to offer.
Don't give up before the miracle happens, as the saying goes. You're worth it!
4 comments:
OI! yeah you, the "fuck it" voice in Hyde's head... Fuck off & leave her alone or i'll have to send the boys round?
Capiche?
Did you really work so hard and come so far to give up now?
I'm going to say something to you and it might sound harsh, but I truly don't mean it to be. It has been said to me more than once! And that is:
The only thing you get from sitting on the Pity Pot is a ring around your ass.
If you don't like the way things are, then change them. Don't sit in your apartment dwelling on things. That only increases fears, self-doubts and depression. No more group sessions? There are literally hundreds of meetings in NY. Go to more of them, explore until you find groups you are comfortable with and share what you're going through. Getting a sponsor would be a great idea, too. I guarantee you're not as alone as you feel. Brick is busy and wants to do some things on his own? You have other friends. Call them, do something with someone else. As close as you and Brick are, you both still need to have lives of your own. That doesn't mean you care for each other less, but rather allows you both to bring more to your friendship when you're together.
Narc is an ass, and should not be the mirror by which you judge your worth. You bring laughter and joy to those who know you, and your singing obviously touches many people. You're interesting and intelligent with so much to offer.
Don't give up before the miracle happens, as the saying goes. You're worth it!
My hand is there if you want it.....
Thinking of you...
Willing you on...
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