Things are sweet right now. Sweet, but in a bittersweet kind of way.
Don't get me wrong-- I think all of this is super tragic, but suddenly the universe has some balance. On the one year anniversary of when Narc and I met, we are finally able to say goodbye. I fucking LOVE that symmetry!
Being of the nature that I am, I caved in and wrote Narc a text (at 5:21 pm today):
Wasn't ignoring you Tuesday night. Just think it's best this way. You asked in your text if I thought we could be friends. The honest answer? No. That's all. Goodbye, Narc.
I just received the reply (at 6:57 pm):
You're right. I suppose I just didn't want to end us on a low note, as we did. Good luck with everything.
First of all, I am SO happy that he is being sweet to me again and that it's not ending all ugly and bitter, even though I've finally accepted the idea that it has to end. Second of all, he acknowledges that there was an "us" and that this is an "end" to something. In his own way, Narc has finally acknowledged our "relationship."
So I wrote back to him:
You too. :) All the best.
Then I couldn't help myself and had to throw in my final observation:
Last thing-- isn't it weird that today is the 1 yr from when we met? I love symmetry in the universe. Anyway, maybe we can talk @ some point some day. Take care. :)
And I'll leave it at that.
I think that I impressed him over the past week with my serious restraint in terms of his several efforts to get me back onto that roller coaster that is Narc & Hyde. Maybe my behavior finally earned me some respect from him, hence this decent treatment. I'd like to think so, and to take this with me as a lesson for the next relationship.
Don't get me wrong, I'm far from over Narc. I don't think I'll be able to even think about other guys for a while, because my heart is still devoted to him. But at least it doesn't have to be a place of hate and bitterness.
All of the bitterness has turned bittersweet.
4 comments:
Seems like a good move. And yeah, it's about time he recognized that there was an "us" between you two. Just be prepared in case he writes again. He's not going to lose your number anytime soon.
I'm just amused that he thought that he could help it end on a higher note by calling drunk several times in the middle of the night - even if this was a pattern in the relationship.
Whatever... You KNOW he just said that to save face. His messages were pretty fucking embarassing...
Oh Hyde, my thing almost ended one year to the day of our first date, but I couldn't bring myself to end it until two weeks later. He lurked on my blog yesterday, and now I feel like I'm back to square one. "He paid some attention to me! It's love!", man, I'm pathetic.
But a year is a year and love is love, so it takes more than a couple of weeks to get over it. I miss him. Your pictures of wig guy make me want to dig up my wigs. I think I will...
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