Good morning!
I have a ton to write about and absolutely no time right now, as I'm heading out to Long Island in just a little while to celebrate the Fourth of July. I just had to post this though... (Yes, of course--it's more Narc stuff...) Last night I sent an email to Narc. I still don't expect to hear anything from him, and I'm starting to not want to. The point is that I needed closure. I spent a really great weekend surrounded by friends and figured it was better to do this now when things are good than later in case things get bad (and I start to feel needy and impulsive). I had to do it either way though. There was no way I could possibly let that "don't ever speak to me again" text be the final word between us.
Anyway, here's what I wrote:
Dear Narc,
I don't even know if you'll read this. I know you don't want to hear from me, and I agree that it's best not to speak to each other, so don't worry--- you won't hear from me again. That said, I do need a bit of closure in my own way, so I guess I'm writing this more for my sake than for yours...
I just hate leaving things in anger and I needed to tell you that I regret how things happened. You were too important to me for me to leave that unsaid. Also, I'm sorry for any pain or discomfort that I caused you.
The past week has been really good for me, and I hope it has been restorative for you too. Because of that, I'm convinced that it's best to close this chapter of my life and move on.
I'll always care about you and I hope you know that. I wanted to say goodbye in my own way and to wish you luck. That's all.
Take care always,
Hyde
I think the letter is okay, even though, as Oc pointed out, it was an "indulgent" thing to do. Anyway, that's all I have time for right now. I still have to tell you all about how I met Dan (a fellow blogger) on Friday and about my trip to CT with NDN and Oc this weekend, but that will have to wait.
Happy Fourth everybody!!!
Hyde
3 comments:
Hurray!!!!!!!!!!!!!
When I first read that you sent an e-mail to Narc I was worried. Having read what you sent, I think it was a good move. Just remember, you sent that to give yourself closure. As in "closed; over; done." When (not "if") he writes back to you, you have to stand your ground. He may very well try to negotiate (perhaps even using the word "love") but you know better.
Have a great holiday with the family today. I look forward to reading your version of the events on Friday as well as your weekend in Connecticut (that's how I say it).
Looks like a good email. Have a good July 4th and try to enjoy your family as much as you can! (I like cheesy Sousa marches and fireworks.)
Love ya lots!
Post a Comment