I am losing my mind. What did I do today? I puked in a garbage can on Madison Avenue. I am losing it fast. I am sick and tired of recovery and sick and tired of living my life like an open wound. I don't want to feel vulnerable anymore. I'm angry at everyone. When people laugh in public, I want to spit in their faces.
In other news, I ate sushi two nights in a row. I called Narc today and he actually picked up the phone.
"I'm feeling weird," I said.
"That's okay," he said. "So... Why'd you call?"
Brick is laying on my couch in his underwear. He says that for him, sushi and red bull are a lethal combination. He is quiet now, though... less delirious and instead is playing with his cell phone. That's good.
I can't fathom tomorrow. I don't think I want anything past today.
love,
h
PS: Brick wants me to ask my readers a question-- Who's hotter? Benjamin Bratt or Dean Cain?
8 comments:
Dean Cain as in Superman? I would go Ben Bratt...today anyway.
Hyde....Hang in there...that's shit advice considering I have no idea how tough this is for you. I'm always here any time, day or night if you need someone to talk to who isn't in your usual circle.
Don't try to fathom tomorrow; take care of yourself now and let the rest take care of itself.
*hug*
As for Brick's question: Benjamin Bratt hands down.
If anyone can handle the pressure you can....
.
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So you threw up out of anxiety? Or do you think the sushi had something to do with it?
I'd go with Dean Cain.
Hydey - Keep your chin up, you have lots of support out here. I'll be away from blog-land for a little bit, but will be thinking of you. Hugs
P.S. Dean Cain
What Aravis said...sometimes looking ahead is just too overwhelming.
Benjamin Bratt...older and more experience...
upon consultation of google images I go for Dean Cain.
Let that be a warning Hyde *waves finger like a parent* eating raw fish is baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad
I have returned. I haven't really been gone, but I'm going to be updating again Hyde. I'm very happy for you, that you seem to have things more and more under control, and that you have found such a good friend. I also own up to almost all the anon comments for the last... a while.
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