The Monster Post: Part III

Holy shit! I have a whole week of drama to catch you up on! Can it be done? I'm not quite sure... But I'll try.

So I left you all off on last Thursday...

One of our group members, a girl by the name of DBE showed up at group with a black eye. She's been having some trouble getting sober due to the fact that she lives in an abusive alcoholic household. As she also has some medical issues involving having had a shunt placed in her brain, our counselor recommended that she go to the emergency room following group so that she could check in to detox and get herself checked out. Everybody was a little wary that she wouldn't actually go, so Brick and I volunteered to walk her to the hospital, along with another group member-- Religrope.

Before I can go any further, I have to say a few words about Religrope. He's a big guy-- a 40-something year old from Brooklyn who has a sexual compulsion in addition to his bi-polar disorder and drug and alcohol addiction. Now, I don't mean this to be disparaging in any way, as he is a decent person who is trying very hard to stay sober and to be kind to all those around him. But that said, he can be a little "overwhelming" and is not particularly intuitive nor sensitive about how to manage most social interactions. I'm often unsure of how to respond to him. I can't really say more here without getting into stuff that I'd rather keep off the blog. The bottom line-- he is a little "off."

As the three of us set off for the hospital, Brick and Religrope walked ahead, while I stayed a few steps behind with DBE. Since AngryGirl left the group, DBE and I are the only two women left and I wanted her to feel some solidarity. I tried to talk to her about "normal" things to get her mind off the awful situation at hand. In the meantime, I could hear Religrope talking to Brick about me. He was speaking quite loudly and kept turning his head over his shoulder to see if I were listening.

"It's too bad about Hyde," he said. "She's a nice girl! No one should treat her badly! She deserves to find a nice man..."

Now, I know that those are nice things to say, but you have to imagine how awkward this was, having this guy just a few steps ahead of me, speaking loudly on purpose, but pretending that his comment was only meant for Brick. The afternoon was starting to feel a little surreal.

When we got to the hospital, DBE wanted to call her neurologist, as she was concerned about possible trauma to her head, having been punched in the face. She still seemed hesitant about getting into detox, so Brick, Religrope and I decided to wait with her until she had been admitted. Poor DBE! Her eye looked awful. As I know a thing or two about covering scrapes and bruises and I never travel anywhere without my makeup, I helped her cover up her eye and it looked pretty good. I think she felt a lot better after that, and I really felt good that I could help.

We were directed to the emergency room waiting room, a small and hot place. DBE gave her name and sat down to wait for the nurse. It was awkward. Religrope kept talking about how much he "loved us all," about how we are all "family" and about "how great it was that we are all good friends." He also talked quite loudly about AA and "recovery" which was a little strange given the tension in the air and the momentary circumstance of DBE, her desperation and her black eye. Religrope wanted to go out for lunch with me and Brick afterwards, and there was really no kind way to say no. But for the time, we continued to wait.

At one point, Brick went out for a cigarette and to get us all sodas. At around the same time, DBE was taken in for evaluation by a nurse. So,it was just me and Religrope. There was not much to say. I turned to look at the movie playing on the small TV nailed up in the corner of the room.

"What, am I not keeping your attention?" Religrope smiled, jabbing me in the leg.

"Oh, well, it's not that," I said, flustered. "It's just that I like old movies."

I nervously offered half a smile and turned back to the small screen.

"So you like movies?"

"Yeah."

"I could lend you some movies," he said, still grinning.

"Thanks."

"I have some I think you would like-- two girls, one guy, huh?" he jabbed at my leg again. "Or two guys, one girl!"

I must have blushed. I felt my chest knotting up though.

"I don't think those are the kind of movies to lend a 'lady-friend,'" I said.

I tried to smile. He laughed.

"Yeah, I'm just joking with ya!"

Later on, he asked me how old I am.

"27."

"Oh really? That's old enough!" he said.

"Old enough for what?" I asked. "Old enough to have a serious drinking problem? Well, yeah..."

(I'm trying to remember right now what else he said, but as this was a week ago, it's all out of order in my mind...)

Brick came back with the sodas and stayed a while and then left for another cigarette. DBE came back and then left and then came back and then left again. In the midst of this, Religrope managed to say a few other smarmy things.

For example, some soda had spilled onto the seat next to me. The waiting room was starting to fill up, so I went to brush it off the seat with my hand.

"Oh, so do you like liquids on your hand?" he grinned.

And again-- later, he was talking about God and recovery and love, and a whole lot of overly projected AA crap and he said how he needed to get down on his knees. Then he looked at me.

"I bet you like that-- getting on your knees."

All of this was too much for me to take. We were not in a bar. I was not feeling like "rowdy-Hyde." This is someone in my group therapy who was sitting in a hospital emergency room being terribly unwitty and making me feel sleazy. I HAD to get out of there.

"I really can't stay past three," I said. "I'm sorry, but I have to get home to grade papers."

Brick looked a little frantic when I proposed leaving him there with that insanity, but I couldn't explain why I had to leave without confronting Religrope. Perhaps I should have been able to tell him to shut up and that he was making me uncomfortable, but I just couldn't do it. I only wanted to leave. I gave all my numbers and my address to DBE and told her that if she couldn't get a bed in the hospital that night that she should come stay with me. Anything would be better than her going back to her house! But when 3:00 rolled around, I left. I didn't like doing it. I have to say-- I feel horrible for DBE. Her mom passed away a few months ago and she doesn't have a job and she is stuck with her father who is horrible to her. I have such an urge to take care of her, but I can't. About half an hour later, Brick called me to tell me that DBE had been admitted and that he was heading to my place.

When Brick got there, I explained to him why had to leave there early and we laughed about the whole situation and about all of the strange characters that have suddenly come into our lives. Then we just sat around and talked for a while and played piano. Guess what? Hyde is in heaven! Brick can sing and he likes to sing duets!!!! I can't tell you how thrilling that is for me! He went to a choir school for grade school and knows a good deal of the sacred classical repertoire. I played "Caro Mio Ben" and "Sebben Crudele" for him, and then I made him take his rite of initiation a la Hyde-- he sang the entire "If I Loved You" scene from Carousel with me-- dialogue and all! (YAY!!!) We sang a few more after that, and I did a few by myself, showing off a bit. Brick was very enthusiastic about my singing. I started to tell him about my experience at the Townhouse on the previous Tuesday night.

"We should go back there!" he said. "We should go tonight!"

I agreed.

So we hung out for the rest of the afternoon and into the evening. I desperately needed a pedicure and a waxing, so Brick came with me to the salon to hang out. Once there, he made the last minute decision to get some tanning. While we were there, relaxing in the pedicure chairs, I got a text from Narc. (It was just after 5:00 pm)

N: Just got greatest game ever!! You must come see. And yet, at the Patriot already... Surely not a good sign...

I totally freaked out and wanted to text back right away. Brick took the phone out of my hand and insisted on writing the text himself. My stomach had leaped up into my throat. I felt nauseated and nervous. He said that I had to make it clear that I was busy and not available at Narc's beck and call.

H: Glad the game is good... I am hanging with my friend, Brick, tonight. Have fun tonight.

I didn't like the part where Brick said "have fun tonight" because it seemed so final and it made me nervous.

N's reply?: Another AA meeting? Have fun...

For dinner, we got a bite to eat with NDN. Then it was back to my place to spruce up for our night on the town. Brick was already looking dashing in his jacket, as he had been on TV that morning before group.

When we got to the Townhouse, I saw PonytailBoy again, but there was a different pianist. Nevermind that. Brick and I made our way over to the piano anyway and I got plenty of songs in. This guy wasn't as enamored with me though. Brick and I clinked our glasses over every diet coke, alternately buying "rounds" for each other. He saw a few people he knew at the bar. It was strange. The two of us agreed wholeheartedly that had we known each other as drinkers, we would have torn up the town together. Brick and I have SO much in common about the way we think and the way we drink, that it would have been crazy.

That said, we certainly didn't need to be drinking in order to have fun! We had a blast! A few guys asked us if they could buy us drinks, and we told them "only diet cokes." If anyone made a comment, we laughed it off together.

"Straight edge is the new cool," I said.

We were laughing a lot that night.

In the meanwhile, Narc sent me a few more texts. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I was so jittery and nervous. Hyde without alcohol is pretty fucking anxious. Anyway, here's what he said:

N: What are you up to later?

and then: "What you're doing is a crime...!" Ah, great show

(I guess he was watching "So You Think You Can Dance")

and then: "Wow, one chick just threw up on stage..."

At Brick's bequest, I didn't answer any of them.

At around 2:00 am, Brick suggested that we move downtown to another piano bar/ night life spot in the West Village-- a place called "Monster." I agreed. It was strange-- I was totally sober, but I almost FELT drunk-- energized, giddy and with a night of adventure stretched out before me.

When we got to Monster, I wasn't quite sure what to make of the place. I found it to be a little "nihilistic" and told Brick so. The first part of the room, upon entering is a regular bar. The back part hosts the piano with a bunch of stools around it. And downstairs there was a gay dance club, the techno music echoing up through the floor, drowning out the drunken Broadway voices around the piano. Brick and I sat at the piano, diet cokes in hand, to start.

I was a little hesitant to ask for a song, as I wasn't sure what to sing, and I didn't want to feel pushy. But finally, I did. I asked for "Summertime" in its original soprano key. And as I sat there lazily on the barstool, I suddenly busted out at full operatic volume, much to the surprise of the people around us. The pianist seemed to like me and asked me to sing a few numbers including "O Mio Babbino Caro." I sang it well, but had to fudge the words.

Brick saw a few people he knew there as well, including a guy he had stood up for a date and that guy's best friend. The story is a little more dramatic than that, but in the interest of Brick's privacy, that's all that I'll say.

After a while of sitting at the piano, Brick and I decided to go check out the dance floor downstairs. It was probably not the wisest place for a couple of alcoholics to be, but it was interesting for me, as I'm not used to gay clubs and I was rather amused at the dancer. Brick knew a bartender there... again, part of a more complicated story that I'll leave out of "the Annals." We didn't stay there for long, but instead relocated back to the piano.

I sang a few duets with another guy-- the friend of the guy that Brick had stood up. (By the way, Brick and I are determined to learn "Suddenly Seymour" and "All I Ask of You.")

Anyway, we stayed there straight through until nearly 4:00 am and then set off on foot for Brick's apartment in Chelsea. It was, all in all, a FABULOUS night. We were in a good mood, a lot of adventures behind us, a lot of laughter, and no fear of a hangover the next day! We crashed at Brick's house-- the first night in an entire week of sleep overs.

The next morning, I had to get out of there at a fairly early hour, as I had plans to meet B for lunch. We met in my neighborhood and went to the diner and talked and talked. It was nice. Then I went back to my place to unwind and clean up for a bit.

Brick and I made a plan to meet later that night at a 10:30 pm AA meeting in midtown. The rain was pouring down in sheets and poor Brick walked all the way there from Chelsea, getting drenched and pummeled by the crowds outside Port Authority and Times Square. I, on the other hand, jumped into a cab and met him near the Milford Plaza.

It was a good meeting, and a woman there gave me her number. Afterwards, Brick and I walked back to my place.

"What do you want to do tonight?" I asked.

"I don't know... Clean your house?" he suggested.

"Really?"

We went over to Duane Reade for supplies and started with my kitchen. Brick was amazed at what a pack rat I am, and he encouraged me to start throwing stuff out. I have a hard time with that though. I finally conceded to get rid of a pair of crutches that had been lying around since I broke my ankle in 2003.

At around 2:00 am, I got a text from NDN asking if I were still awake.

"Yes! Cleaning with Brick," I replied.

NDN came over. He was just back from a date. He told us a little bit about his date in all its gory detail, and the three of us hung out for a while. Brick wanted some Vivarin, so I gave him some. At around 3:30, NDN headed home for bed, while Brick and I decided to go to the diner.

Ah, the 4:00 am diner trip! Still a fun Friday night activity, although a little different sober! When we walked in, I saw Manwich and the bouncer from Cheers.

"Do Re Mi!" he called out. (That's what he likes to call me).

They asked why I haven't been around, and I explained that it's because I quit drinking.

(Brick and I were laughing earlier that with all of the diet cokes and frequent bathroom breaks, everyone is going to think that we're just on a shitload of cocaine instead...)

We totally indulged, eating greasy yummy food, and then it was back to my place at nearly 5:00 am. We decided to watch "A Streetcar Named Desire," just so we could both marvel over Marlon Brando and how insanely hot he is, but Brick fell asleep. The sun was about to come up, so I figured it was time for bed as well.

So, on Saturday morning, we woke up together, yet again!

Anyway, this post is getting really long, and I STILL have a lot more to say about the week's adventures, but I think I'll leave it at that for now. Maybe I'll try to crank something else out in the morning. I'm a Brick's apartment as I write this. He is acting kind of delirious tonight-- what he calls "punch drunk on life." I'm in a somewhat more biting mood. I really feel like getting fucked, to put it crudely, and am having a hard time resisting making a pathetic call to Narc. It's okay though. Brick is keeping me well entertained with his antics over here.

So... I'll fill you in on the rest later.

Hope you are all well!

Lots of love,
H

PS: Thanks for all the support on the last post. It was a tough one for me to write :/